Housebuying Lessons Learned

Hi! My wife and I just bought a house. Since I know many young couples are in the market right now, I thought I’d share some of the lessons we learned through our experience.

Do Your Research Before wading into the house market, be sure to learn all you can about the intricacies of house hunting and home buying. A little money spent on a “Home Buying For the Clinically Brain Dead” book now can save you thousands of dollars later!

Learn Your Options Many decisions must be made concerning your home loan, and it pays to explore all of your options before settling on a plan of action. For example, fixed-rates loans are all the rage now (what with interest rates being so low and all) but don’t overlook ARMs — they may be just the thing for you!

Never Move Into Your New Home Many people naively assume that after they have purchased a home they should move into it and live there. Nothing could be further from the truth. In reality, you are much better off staying wherever you are now, paying rent in addition to your monthly mortgage payments. While this may not seem cost effective, the truth is that paying any amount of money is better than having to move, because moving is what those in the real estate industrial refer to as a “galactically huge pain in the ass.” First you have to pack everything you own into boxes, and then you have to carry these boxes to a truck, and then later you have to carry these boxes again (from the truck to the new house) and then unpack the sons of bitches. And if you rent said truck from a major truck rental company whose name I won’t mention here (rhymes with “Glue-Mall”) you may have to interact with some of the most unfathomably stupid people ever to be given a key to a cash register, people who will grudgingly dispense customer service so atrocious that it will make you want to kick kittens. Trust me: moving is a big fat fucking drag and should only be done if your previous residence is, at that very moment, on fire.

Have fun!