Great Vein

Today I donated blood. The nurse took one look at my arm and said "Wow! You've got a great vein!" I don't know if it was the blood-loss or the flattery that made me so light-headed.

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Amazon Ad

Speaking of Amazon ... Xerox is in trouble. Why? Because they overstated their profits. Worldcom is aflame. Why? Because they overstated their profits. Enron is pretty much a memory. Why? Because they overstated their profits. Hey Amazon.com! I got your newest ad campaign right here! Who Can You Trust? Enron? Tyco? ImClone? WorldCom? Xerox? No. Honestly reporting our lack of

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John Moe’s Lists

Humorist John Moe has made over 70 lists for Amazon.com. Some favorites: Pronoun-palooza, Kitchen Items That Sound Like Bands, What?! Huh?! WHAT?!, Music To Repel Chicks, What My Son Looked Like When Was A Newborn, Books I Say I've Read But Haven't, Bob Dole & Motorhead, and Pasty, Mopey British People.

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Hot In Herre!

defective yeti's Music News You Can Use!: The number one single in America right now is the smash hit "Hot In Herre"! (Listen to a clip.) The chorus goes:Male: Its gettin' hot in here (so hot) So take off all your clothes Female: I am gettin' so hot, I wanna take my clothes off! Male: Its gettin' hot in here

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Nice job CNN!

CNN is renowned for it's ability to cram a bunch of different images into a single graphic, but they have outdone themselves with this one. Who else could get a pair of breasts into a story about a failed long-distance provider?

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Poor Taste

Today a federal appeals court ruled that the Pledge of Allegiance is an unconstitutional "endorsement of religion". Conservative members of the House of Representatives, predictably, rushed outside, queued up in front of the tv cameras, and recited the pledge of allegiance. I don't like how, when confronted with a court ruling they disagree with, right-wing congressmen go on television and

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Test Your ULQ!

Test Your ULQ Urban Legends Quotient It's a little unsettling how many of the "Urban Legends" listed on the Snopes New Addition page are actually true. So here's a little quiz I just whipped up. For each of the "Urban Legends" listed below, choose either true or false. All links open in a new browser window. ClaimTrueFalse1. Starbucks recalled this

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Loaded From The Get-Go

(Rewind is a National Public Radio sketch comedy show, and I was on it last weekend doing the "Loaded From the Get-Go" bit below. The broadcast, in RealAudio format, is available on this page. I appear about 45 minutes into the show, and talk entirely too fast.) Your wedding is fast approaching, and the expenses are piling up. Your dress cost

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Summer COlors

Terror Warning System Converts to Summer Colors Today Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge announced today that the "Terror Warning System" he unveiled in March would be converting to summer colors today. "Preparedness is never out of season," Ridge told the joint session of congress, "and that as why we will be tailoring our schema for the upcoming months." In the

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Rats

Hi! Well, as you probably noticed I haven't updated my blog in a few weeks, and I'm totally sorry cause I know that when you come here every day you expect to see updates on how I'm doing and what's up with me and that girl from the Expresso stand and how my pet snake is doing and stuff, but

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