defective yeti’s Halloween Tips

  • It’s not enough to just dress like a Cheez-It, you have to really act the part.

  • Many women use Halloween as an excuse to dress up in skimpy, sexy outfits. You should not be one of them.

  • Make sure your “Human Torch” costume is flame-retardant before setting it ablaze.

  • To avoid breaking fingers while stealing candy, grip a roll of quarters when punching other children.

  • Prevent stomachaches by eating no more than one Snickers bar per minute.

  • Stop sending me that jpg of the vomiting pumpkin or I will kill you.

  • Only put safety razors in apples.

  • It’s always a good idea to write your incantation down backwards on a piece of paper and keep it handy during the ritual, just in case you need to do a hasty unsummoning.

  • While Trick-or-Treating, it’s best to wear a bright, reflective vest over your Spider-Man costume to ensure that you look totally lame.

  • Oh my god! Get out of the house! The killer is calling from upstairs!!
I kinda stole that last one from this great Whole Lotta Nothing entry.

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