• It’s not enough to just dress like a Cheez-It, you have to really act the part.
• Many women use Halloween as an excuse to dress up in skimpy, sexy outfits. You should not be one of them.
• Make sure your “Human Torch” costume is flame-retardant before setting it ablaze.
• To avoid breaking fingers while stealing candy, grip a roll of quarters when punching other children.
• Prevent stomachaches by eating no more than one Snickers bar per minute.
• Stop sending me that jpg of the vomiting pumpkin or I will kill you.
• Only put safety razors in apples.
• It’s always a good idea to write your incantation down backwards on a piece of paper and keep it handy during the ritual, just in case you need to do a hasty unsummoning.
• While Trick-or-Treating, it’s best to wear a bright, reflective vest over your Spider-Man costume to ensure that you look totally lame.
• Oh my god! Get out of the house! The killer is calling from upstairs!!

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