Yes, George, A Missile Defense System Will Work

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of defective yeti:Dear yeti, I am the President of the United States. Some of my little friends say that a missile defense system is unfeasible. Papa says, "If you see it on the

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i saw u

I Saw U at Cinerama I saw U Tuesday night at Cinerama. Me: blond, blue eyes, wearing cloak and eating popcorn. You: second in the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, 179 minutes long. I didn't catch the name of your gaffer. Call me? 5099

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Dunkin Do Nots

In a fit of nostalgia I tracked down and listened some Kris Kross songs yesterday. DO NOT DO THIS!!!! Specifically, do not listen to this mp3 of "Jump". That song is evil infectious -- and I don't mean "infectious" in a good way, like laughter, I mean "infectious" in a bad way, like Pink Eye. You know how your cat,

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Books: Carter Beats the Devil

Prior to our Thanksgiving Extravaganza, The Queen announced that she was in need of a book. I immediately went out and procured a copy of The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, the best thing I read in 2002. Then, wishing I could read K&C again for the first time, I looked it up on Amazon and noted the "People

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Monday Morning Yada Yada Yada

One of my favorite lunchtime eateries is a nearby deli called Honeyhole Sandwiches. They have great food, but I think we'll all agree that "Honeyhole" is the dirtiest sounding name of all time. I'm even embarrassed to tell my coworkers I'm going there. "Hey boss, I'll be in the Honeyhole for an hour ..." -- yeah, not likely. The worst

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Brew Haha

Spam:Date: Fri, 13 Dec 02 16:22:34 GMT From: Evan Armstrong <schwinnxsx@classictruckshop.com> Subject: Wish you had lager Breasts?"Lager breasts"? If that's the upper-torso equivalent of the beer belly then, no, I'll pass.

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The Holiday Survival Guide for Slackers

The Morning News is today carrying an essay of mine entitled Holiday Survival Guide for Slackers. I was able to work some squirrels into it, so you'll definitely want to check it out. Credit Where It's Due:Goopymart suggested the Mr. T. Chia Head and the Hyperspace Resonator (i.e., "Time Machine").I first saw The Book (penultimate gift on the list) over

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