‘Axies’ Fever Sweeps Globe


Ayatollah Ali Khamenei holds Iran’s Axie aloft during his acceptance speech at the 2002 State of the Union Address.

"Axies" Fever is sweeping the globe, as leaders and citizens around the world eagerly anticipate tomorrow's announcement of the 2003 "Axis of Evil" inductees.

The Axis of Evil Awards -- or "Axies," as they have come to be called -- are the brainchild of US President George Bush, who distributed the first four awards during the 2002 State of the Union address. Intended to "recognize those nations who have gone the extra, evil mile," the Axies have since become one of the most coveted awards a country can receive.

World leaders have spent billions in recent months to call attention to their evil deeds, some taking out full-page ads in The New York Times, others sending videotapes of atrocities directly to the White House. In an unusual move, a top Nigerian official has sent unsolicited email to millions of people documenting his nation's practice of "setting up companies and awarding themselves contracts which were grossly over-invoiced."

But despite the fervor, not everyone is looking forward to the event. "The Axies are nothing but a big anti-popularity contest," groused Bashar al-Assad, leader of Syria, whose nation is expected to be passed over again this year. "We are way more evil than Iraq, but just because they tried to assassinate Bush's father they got the award. Suck-ups." Others have insinuated that the entire selection process is rife with corruption. "The voting is totally rigged," says Jean Chr

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9 comments.

  1. I heard that Germany pulled out of the competition, stating that it knows it’s not evil enough. But that France is.

  2. Congratulations on finding the

  3. Even the Anonymous Coward above is politicking….jeez. Does it ever stop?

  4. I used to think it didn’t get more “eviler” than Wil Wheaton, but Peggy’s mention of France has me reconsidering that stance.

  5. I was gone for the awards, so who won? This is important, since I had $25 on Serbia, Massachusetts and the men’s room at the Greyhound bus terminal.

  6. does matthew read these comments i wonder?

  7. Fervently.

  8. down with usa

  9. DOWN WITH USA
    DOWN WITH ISRAEL