But Wait, There’s More

Me: Hey, so are you watching that Joe Millionaire show?

J: I saw a couple episodes, but not really. Why?

M: Well, I haven’t watched it at all, but I know the premise of the show — about how the guy isn’t really rich and all. And I heard that there was some additional super bonus twist they were going to throw into the last episode. I was wondering if you knew what it was.

J: Nuh-uh. I heard a rumor that after he picks a girl and she finds out he isn’t really a millionaire, FOX is going to give him a million bucks so that everyone lives happily ever after.

M: That’s the twist? You gotta figure that the guy already is a millionaire, practically — I mean, after this he’ll be on talk show and get movie roles and whatnot. So giving him a million dollars isn’t much of a surprise.

J: Well, I also heard a different rumor that if the girl still wanted to be with him after she found out he was poor, FOX would offer him a million dollars to dump her, and then he would now be in the position of having to choose true love or shallow gold-digging.

M: Hah! That’s pretty funny. But they should just have surprise after surprise after surprise, like the last half an hour of Terminator. Like, after he dumps the girl and says he wants the million dollars, FOX should say that he doesn’t deserve it and give it to the girl instead.

J: Right! Or, instead of giving it to the girl outright, they should say “we’ll give you the million dollars if you marry the guy who just dumped you on nationwide TV for money.”

M: Hah hah. Yeah, and then if she accepts they should say “psych!” and give the money to the guy who played the butler.

J: And then they should reveal that Joe Millionaire is gay. And then, after the reaction to that announcement has died down, they should say “Nah, we were just kidding: he’s not gay.”

M: And then they should pants him.

J: Annnnnnnnnd curtain!