Slogans and Subjectlines

  • Lean Cuisine’s new slogan is “It’s not just lean, it’s cuisine”. Apparently consumers were unable to deduce this from the name. In other news, Coke’s new slogan is: “Coca-Cola: it’s a beverage for drinking.”
  • Free joke for your stand-up routine! “Election season is starting to heat up: Bush has filed for reelection and the Democrats have held two debates. And both parties announced that they will be running on Clinton’s 1994 slogan, although each will emphasize the half that they feel is their strong point — the Democrats will highlight the ‘It’s the economy!’ part and Bush will focus on the ‘Stupid’.”
  • Today I was rummaging around in my spam-filter folder, and came across an email entitled “HERE ARE YOUR GANGBANG PICTURES!!!”. But when I opened the email it turned out to be some complete stranger’s gangbang pictures instead (!!). Oh boy, what an embarrassing mix up. Anyway, if you recently got my gangbang pictures by mistake, drop me a line so can get this all sorted out. Thanks.
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    15 comments.

    1. I don’t think that Lean Cuisine slogan is new, but its stunning obviousness might just have penetrated to you. Maybe they usually market more towards women, with a red-headed British Spokeswoman (Lynn Redgrave or the Duchess of York).

    2. damn 1 hour photo place. give those back!

    3. In advertising school, we were taught that “Coca-Cola” means “bite the wax tadpole” in Chinese.

      Probably it’s one of those urban myths, like Mikey and the Pop Rocks.

    4. It’s a myth.

    5. Damn, I want my money back. Now I’m all paranoid. Now I wonder what I was really wearing when we all went around with those Japanese symbols on our workout clothes. Probably, “Americans are gullible trend-suckers,” or “I only sleep with Japanese men.”

    6. Ben-Gay ointment. It’s not just Ben… it’s also Gay.

      I could be wrong, but I thought “bite the wax tadpole” came from Dave Barry.

      Running with the tangent… my Spanish teacher taught us that when the makers of Raid translated their slogan (“Kills Bugs Dead”) into Spanish for their Mexican billboards, the word they found for “bugs” was “cojones”.

      Yeah. You’d think that sales would have plummeted, but given the percentage of shoppers who were pre-menopause Catholic housewives with eight children already……

      (runs away)

    7. The American Heritage Dictionary defines cuisine as: 1. A characteristic manner or style of preparing food. 2. Food; fare.

      So, it’s not just Lean, It’s Food.

      They should change their slogan to “Lean Cuisine, it sounds French but we’re really American”.

    8. Worked for French’s Mustard.

      I once told that if you take the phrase “struck dumb” and run it through a Russian-to-English translator and back, you end up with the phrase “beaten senseless”.

    9. I got your gangbang pictures, and highly recommend you replace the Hungry Man (“It’s not just Hungry, it’s a Man!”) dinners with Lean Cuisine for a while.

    10. What the hell is a gangbang?!

    11. maybe you would be willing to sell me your defectiveyeti porn pics… I’ll pay top dollar

    12. Shouldn’t it be ‘Lean Freedom High-Class Food’ in these Stalinist reformist times?

    13. Speaking of bad slogans. There is a dutch airline that has the slogan “We take your bags and send them in all directions.”

    14. I’m pretty sure the slogan you mentioned, “It’s the economy, stupid!” was used in 1992, when Clinton was running for President, not in 1994.

      I seem to remember his slogan in 1994 when the Republicans took over Congress was “Hey, I was just kidding about that Universal Healthcare, stupid!”

      I don’t think that one would work as well in the joke, though.

    15. Shit. That explains why the woman under that pile of guys didn’t look like my wife.