Research Day: VPs and Teenage Girls

Can You impeach the Vice-President? I don’t mean you, personally. Although, if you can, go nuts.

No, but what I mean is: what if, hypothetically, in some bizzarro, alterna-universe, it was discovered that the Vice President of the United States was receiving compensation from a company that landed a bunch of questionable, no-bid contracts in a nation that the US had recently invaded largely at the Vice President’s instigation. Could Congress just impeach the VP, leaving the Commander in Chief in place?

In answer this question, I went to the site I always turn to first when I am in the market for some rock-solid, unbiased information: LaRouche In 2004 (dot net). “You cannot stop this process unless you get rid of the Cheney factor,” LaRouche says in an essay about Cheney’s machiavellian influence on the administration. “So, therefore, ” he continues, “various people are conducting investigations aimed at impeaching Cheney on grounds of his financial dealings with Halliburton and so forth … there’s a movement to impeach the Vice-President of the United States, a movement that may not succeed in getting an impeachment, which is intended to break the White House free of control of the influence of Cheney.” (Dude, why not change your name to Lyndon LaRun-on?)

Well, if there’s really an “Impeach Cheney” movement afoot, then it must be legal. But a Google search for the phrase impeach Cheney doesn’t really turn up anything of the sort, leading me to wonder if LaRouche isn’t a nut. (Y’think?) Still, such a movement could exist, according to this online copy of the Constitution. Article II Section 4 states, “The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

Hey, speaking of the Vice-President … I know Bill Clinton is constitutional barred from running for President again, but could Al team up with Hillary and form a “Clinton / Gore in 2008″ ticket? Setting aside the fact that Al and Hillary aren’t exactly chums, and that neither would ever agree to be subordinate to the other, is there anything that prevents Gore from serving more than two terms as a Vice-President? This was a pretty easy one to look up, since I just had to find the text of the Twenty-Second Amendment. The amendment states that “no person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice, and no person who has held the office of President, or acted as President, for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President shall be elected to the office of the President more than once,” but never once mentions the vice-president in any context.

Why don’t we just make this an All Vice Presidents Research Day? Sure, what the hell.

Who was George Washington’s vice president, and what else did he do? Well, let’s see. A Google search for “first vice-president” reveals that Washington’s second in command was … oh, it was John Adams. Shit, I knew that. Seriously: I totally knew that. No, for real. I knew that. I did.

Whoa, that was embarrassing! Let’s quickly distract the readers by talking about breasts: Okay, I don’t really know how to do research on this without getting arrested for sexual harassment, so I’ll just throw the question out and maybe one of my readers can shed some light on the subject. What’s the deal with teenage girls walking around with their arms folded? In the last year or so I’ve started seeing this everywhere, and it looks profoundly unnatural. The girls usually have they arms folded under their breasts, which makes me think this is some idiotic “Cosmo Girl” technique that supposedly makes the walker look more buxom or something. Anyone? The comment are open, so give me the lowdown if know the scoop on this regrettable trend.

Update: In the comments, Kelly says “Funny you should mention it, a friend explained this ‘technique’ to me just the other day. Apparently the crossing arms thing is for girls with low self-esteem who want to make sure that no one sees that their stomach is not completely flat in tight tee-shirts. The crossing of the arms serves as a physical reminder to suck in when walking past cute guys in the hall. ” Thanks, Kelly!

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46 comments.

  1. forget clinton/gore, how about gore/clinton? bill could still run for vice-prez, couldn’t he?

  2. No way, Tom. VP is first up if something happens to the Pres, so he/she has to meet all of the qualifications. However, can a former president hold any position in line for president (e.g., a secretary of the interior)? I’d guess they all have to meet the qualifications too (age, citizenship), just in case. Hmm….

  3. I don’t know about the arm crossing. I prefer the purse strap across the chest.

  4. They’re crossing their arms because you’re staring at their breasts.

  5. Well, I dunno if you’re joking, but given that I’m a hetrosexual male that’s not an unreasonable hypothesis.

    Except!

    1. They’re crossing their arms under their breasts, thereby amplifying them rather than hiding them.
    2. I’m talking about girls I’m observing at a distance. It’s so odd to see someone walking with their arms crossed that they’re not hard to spot from afar.

    Maybe girls have always done this and it’s only now that I’m post-30 that I’m able to notice anything about them aside from their breasts, which is why I’m now seeing it. But, seriously, this seems like a new trend to me.

  6. I think you only need to fulfill the presidential requirements if you’re the vice president. Example: Madeline Albright was not born a US citizen on US soil. In case of disaster, they would have just skipped her in the presidential succession.

  7. Perhaps folded arms disguise squidginess in the abdominal area. Seriously, I think the folded arms signify insecurity with their appearance. Well, it’s possible.

  8. Don’t know why they’re walking with arms crossed, but if they are “average to above average” on the buxom scale, the only comfortable way to fold their arms is underneath their breasts — otherwise there’s just too much, uh, movement.

  9. Now that I think aboutit I think you’re on to something. Maybe they’re just cold?

  10. Arms folding – completely a proportional thing. I don’t typically cross my arms, but if I tried to put them up at boob level (instead of underneath), my hands would be in my armpits.

  11. Sometimes you just don’t know what to do with your arms, so you cross them. And unless your boobs are totally saggy, natural arm-crossing will fall below them.

  12. Yep, cold is a good reason for having crossed arms. Insecurity too… maybe that’s where most stains occur, and they’re trying to hide them.

  13. I’m not really sure what you mean about this arms-crossed-under-breasts thing. Maybe if you could take and post some pictures, that would help.

  14. Funny you should mention it, a friend explained this “technique” to me just the other day. Apparently the crossing arms thing is for girls with low self-esteem who want to make sure that no one sees that their stomach is not completely flat in tight tee-shirts. The crossing of the arms serves as a physical reminder to suck in when walking past cute guys in the hall. This was all the rage back in middle school. But now (at least in Washington DC) its a dieing trend. The style of today is wearing shirts that were made for kindergartners and not care how much your belly shows.
    Slaves of fashion.

  15. do you think that al gore might have had a better public image during the last ellection if he had crossed his arms under his breasts to enhance his clevage or cover his rolls of fat? what if he had done a three-way kiss with any combination of britney, christina or madonna instead of just traditional with tipper? then again maybe john adams already used that technique.

  16. >The style of today is wearing shirts that were made for kindergartners and not care how much
    >your belly shows.

    This isn’t just high school girls, either. I’ve recently noticed women in their 20′s and 30′s doing this.

    Is “slave to fashion” anything like “delusional”?

  17. Kat wins!

  18. In the greater United Kingdom metro area, you can go out on any given night of the week and see ladies, young and old, large and small, wearing shirts made for toddlers while eating from a bag dripping with fish ‘n chip leavin’s. Mucho grande attractive. Not so much arm crossing, though. They seem comfortable with their abdominal situations. Which is cool. Y’know.

  19. I agree, in England, you get a lot of… *Ahem* Slightly (Used sarcasticaly) overweight girls who wear shirts that are way to small. I mean, seeing a ring of flab between their shirt and pants is -not- something I wanna see, let alone find attractive. *Shudders*

    What happened to the nice girl, who would just want to sit down and cuddle? Now it’s: “Hey, your cute… Let’s have sex!”

    Call me old fasioned for a 17 year old Geek/Male, but Sex isn’t on my priority list. I don’t get why it should be on theirs.

    … Wow… I went offtopic kinda fast…

  20. When in doubt, blame Britney Spears and the Big Media Conglomerates. It’s a combination of answers given above: these girls are wearing tiny t-shirts that are too tight (a fashion trend that’s definitely the fault of those entities mentioned above), which don’t provide much insulation. So the girls are cold. Which, incidentally, you’d have been able to guess if you’d stop looking at their arms and notice the erect nipples.

  21. Hmm… re-reading the 22nd amendment, it says “no person shall be *elected* to the office of the President more than twice…” It makes no mention of restrictions on someone who succeeds an elected president. So… I guess in theory Bill could be elected V.P., despite his ineligability to be elected president, and even serve as President if something happened to poor Al. Of course, that would give Bill less than a term in office before being tossed out again.

    Hmm… I smell a bad thriller plot in this… popular two-term president… a patsy presidential candidate, and a date with a sniper’s bullet… hmm….

  22. Whenever I see girls walking with their arms crossed, I think it is their surly pose. They are tough Avril Lavgine rocker girls. The arms are crossed in defiance.

    I’d never walk with my arms crossed… Not because I’m not surly, but because I’d be afraid of tripping. How would you catch yourself if your arms are tangled under your breasts?

  23. I think you’ll recall from Civics class that having your arms folded is a right protected by the 54th Amendment of the United States, The Right to Fold Arms. By questioning this unalienable right, you are obviously asserting yourself as an enemy of the people.

    Typical bleeding-heart liberals, trying to paint our Fundamental American Rights as some sort of politically incorrect no-no. It’s an attack on the citizenry!

  24. Someone said that tight t-shirts are cold, that really isn’t the case for me. I find when I wear tight t-shirts I’m warmer then if I wear baggy t-shirts. Since the cloth is right up against your body, there isn’t any breeze that goes through the shirt and I get hotter in it. So unless the shirts are really thin,(which some are) I’d say they were warmer then if they were wearing bigger shirts.

  25. about girls who wear their clothes too tight…I think it’s about time we blamed the major clothing manufacturers. Nowadays, it seems like the only fashion options available are turbo-slut and fake grunge…for a look that’s not borderline obscene, one has to move into “frump.”

  26. “Regrettable” trend? Dude, these girls are practically BEGGING you to look at their breasts! How is that regrettable? Sounds like a pretty kickass trend to me!

  27. It’s true about the problems with the major clothing manufacturers. I have trouble buying non-turbo-slut clothes for my EIGHT year old neice because she is lumped into the Size 7 – 16 category. That’s just gross. My 15-year-old stepdaughter is in full turbo-slut mode. She has a shirt that is labeled “extra large” that I couldn’t fit my 5’4″ 125 lb. self into.

    And hey, Jason F, you must live in a much warmer climate or something because here in the Northeast tight t’s with exposed tummy skin = cold!

  28. Is there any correlation between the way you cross your arms when you walk, and your personality?

  29. RE: Sleeping position

    What does it say about me if I sleep next to the porcelin bus all night sucking my thumb?

  30. The other trend that I noticed with the “mid-drift” shirts is the girls who are constantly pulling them down to cover up their mid-drift!

    Usually it’s because of the other trend in fashion, the “hip hugger”, or as my wife calls them, the “I can see your panties’”. It’s as if pants and shirts have a new found aversion to each other.

  31. “Call me old fasioned for a 17 year old Geek/Male, but Sex isn’t on my priority list. I don’t get why it should be on theirs.”

    Seriously? Wait…seriously? So, if sex isnt on your priority list, and you are a 17 year old geek male. what’s left? Quake III?

  32. Amazing how incredibly off topic most of these reviews are. I mean, come on. the vast majority of the article is about the vice president and impeaching Cheney( yay! an admirable goal!). There’s maybe an inch that talks about breasts. come on.

    Now, then, the arm crossing, yeah, that doesn’t happen too much in Wisconsin. at least not where I am. Proper grammar doesn’t work too well here either.

  33. Talking of the aversion between uppers and lowers in female clothing, that venerable British institution, Private Eye, had a cartoon of a kid shouting at one of a bunch of girls: “ha, ha! I can see your panties!”

  34. to whoever said that girls are begging to have their breats stared at when they wear tight t-shirts.. this may be true.. but its really disturbing to see them on 7 year olds..

  35. remember yellow crayola safety scisors? Whenever I see ‘snit-snots’ wearing low-risers with g-strings, my friend and I get teary eyed as we reminice. One day, when we get a hold of a piar, we WILL go on a mini rampage.

    as far as the small t-shirt thing goes: do you notice how the less fabric it takes to make the shirt, the more expensive the shirt is?

    Luckily I won’t have to worry about todays fashion for another 10 or 20 years, being that I buy all of my clothes from thrift stores. (ah the joy of bargain bin shopping…)

  36. I’m just bummed I couldn’t post on that last post…

  37. Duh! I meant “can’t see your panties!”

  38. “Seriously? Wait…seriously? So, if sex isnt on your priority list, and you are a 17 year old geek male. what’s left? Quake III?”

    No, I don’t have that game. I prefer to go out, and have a great time with my friends. Male AND Female. (And no, drinking is not included either.)

  39. I found this under a body language search: Folded Arms-If folded by someone you are talking to, they are saying leave me alone or I don’t accept or am not interested in what you say.

    Or maybe, “I forgot that this shirt was so damn tight so please stop looking at my unforgivingely inflated abdomen and please look at my boobs.”

  40. boobs: 1

    politics: 0

  41. ‘No, I don’t have that game. I prefer to go out, and have a great time with my friends. Male AND Female. (And no, drinking is not included either.)’

    I had a friend who was so exactly like you and then he had sex and it seems to be his number one priority. My guess is either you haven’t done it or you haven’t done it right!

  42. aww…poor james kid…we could use more guys like that.

  43. “I had a friend who was so exactly like you and then he had sex and it seems to be his number one priority. My guess is either you haven’t done it or you haven’t done it right!”

    I haven’t done “It”, and secondly, despite anyone else’s “Sad” comments, I believe sex is something that should be after marriage, not the third date.

    “aww…poor james kid…we could use more guys like that.”

    Damn straight. :) Then maybe I’d have more friends.

  44. Your first mistake was expecting a rational explanation for *anything* teenage girls do. Really… what were you thinking?

    Otherwise… priceless… as usual.

    (Will just ignore that little part where you admit to gawking at teenage breats in the first place. EWWW)

  45. getting back to politics, bush’s failure to act during the california energy crisis, costing california taxpayers tens of billions of dollars, which generally went into the pockets of energy traders, is the most egregious breach of ethics of the administration in my opinion. the invasions of afganistan and iraq, costing over 100 billion dollars and with the resultant weakness in our standing in world politics (witness putin’s failure to give bush the time of day at camp david), doesn’t seem to me to be a breach of ethics so much as poor decisionmaking. but i’m forgetting about the patriot act, an arguably unconstituional limitation on our rights of privacy. i am not sure what i would call that – breach of ethics, poor decisionmaking, or just against the ideals of this american. and let me just mention his awful track record with respect to the environment.

    all that being said, i am not so worried about an impeachment prosecution of anyone (president or vice president) for these or other acts. i just do not want another four years of bush.

  46. Nick Hornby mentions the girls folding arms in High Fidelity… basically the main character Rob says how when he was a kid, girls would fold their arms self-consciously under their newly developed breasts, but all this did was make you more aware of them (the breasts).

    This was also briefly mentioned in the John Cusack movie.