It has been long established that you’re a funny man. But that, sir, is funny.
I’ve been chuckling over the “have to hit a person 16 times with it to kill them” line at random moments ALL DAY. It’s like hiccups. I just hope to God it stops amusing me soon, or else there could be awkward moments in bed with my girlfriend tonight.
If you never do anything else to make this world a better place to live in, at least you’ve helped inspire thousands of lunatics to dash around IKEA like human bumper cars while jibbering like The Swedish Chef! A new sport is born!!!
I just returned from IKEA, where I picked up a new computer chair. I love it, but don’t know if it was worth selling my soul to get it… or the three-mile hike to get from the entrance, to the desk chair section, to checkout. I was focused and efficient, only bought one item, and it still took an hour.
“When you enter the office furniture section, search the back wall and acquire the NOMINELL swivel chair with lockable tilt tension and gas-lift seat-height adjustment. Using this to propel yourself through the remainder of the level will greatly improve your time.”
Excellent ASCII work. Great writting, too. Fun-ny, I just finished watching the Strong Bad where you can play his text-based adventure. And I went to Ikea with the g-friend for the first time just this past weekend. And then I wrote about it on my blog (jeffwerner.ca/fun/), and then I read yours. Particle board furniture works in wonderful ways.