Okay, well, I was joking about stealing The Squirrelly’s flu shot in that last post. But one thing I mentioned is true, as imposible as it sounds: it’s been eight months since the kid up and got himself borned.
And guess what he figured out how to do last week. Here’s a hint: now when I set him down at some spot in the living room and wander into the den to play Diablo II for 20 minutes, I return to find him on the other side of the room and licking a light socket.
Yes, The Squirrelly has discovered the joys of locomotion. Naturally, he immediately used his newfound superpowers to make some minor revisions to the household pecking order.
The first day home from the hospital
“Vengence is mine!”
Possibly the only critters in the house less thrilled with this development than the kitties are The Queen and I, since we had decided to forego babyproofing the house in favor of steadfastly pretending that this day would never arrive. So now we have to, like, put padding on the edges of coffee tables, and I can no longer keep my collection of obsidian arrowheads in bowl on the living room floor.
And what did The Squirrelly do two days after learning to crawl? That’s right: he started grabbing onto things and pulling himself into a standing position, getting ready to start walking. JEEZE STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES FOR A SECOND WHY DON’T YOU KID?!
Oh well — maybe if he’s an early walker he’ll also be an earlier talker, and we can put him into kindergarden a year early, and then he’ll skip a few grades here and there and and start high school at the age of 10 and get all A’s and receive a full scholarship to some college and move out of the house when he’s 14 and then The Queen and I can start seeing movies again as early as 2016! Oh man, that’s gonna be great.
“Lookit me crawl! I’m your worst nightmare!”