Clothes Make The Man

The Queen and I are a cheap couple of bastards, so we'll dress The Squirrelly in pretty much anything that's free. Hand-me-downs. Paper bags with holes cut in them. We'll be set for life when we figure out how to knit sweaters from the hair our cat Edgar sheds. "Sweadgars," we'll call them. We're so indiscriminant that some of those

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Everybody’s Workin’ For The Weekend

The other night I was picking up a few items in a nearly deserted supermarket. At one point I rounded a corner and espied a handsome orange cat halfway down the cereal aisle. He was milling around aimlessly under the Lucky Charms until he saw me, and then trotted to my side and began mewing for pets. After ponying up,

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Basted In Blood

Happy Thanksgiving, all. And as has inexplicably become a yeti tradition, here is your annual link to the "Basted In Blood" video. It's the third down.

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The Bad Review Review

Christmas With The Kranks: "Egregiously mediocre and flagrantly ill-conceived in every department, this is, truly, the cinematic equivalent of finding a single solitary Saltine in your stocking and a pair of old tube socks beneath the tree." -- Marc Savlov, AUSTIN CHRONICLE Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason: "All the charm of a canceled CBS sitcom." -- Robert Wilonsky, DALLAS

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Vital Signs

This evening's "how was your day" conversation:The Queen: I made a major faux pas in baby sign-language class. Me: What happened? Q: Well, all of the women in the class are super religious, and one of them asked what the sign was for "Jesus." And the teacher said that you touch the palm of your left hand with your right

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Friday Afternoon Scratchpad

I can do a pretty good impression of the lead vocalist for The Psychedelic Furs. As I've gotten older, though, I've found that the demonstration of this skill impresses fewer and fewer girls. As long as we're talking about banning people from using cell phones while driving, can we also prevent people from driving around with small dogs in their

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