2004 Holiday Gift Guide For Slackers

My third annual Holiday Survival Guide For Slackers is now available at The Morning News. It’s not easy upping the cynicism on these things year after year, but somehow I seem equal to the task.

And a big “thank you” to everyone who sent me links to the most brain-numbingly stupid crap available for sale on the Internet. It’s readers like you that truly make Christmas the most magical time of the year.

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9 comments.

  1. Sphincterine? Sphincterine??

    Oy.

  2. Little did I know that my submission would freak people out so thoroughly. :-)

  3. Loved the article and put a link to it on my blog. Your particular brand of humor is priceless.

  4. The Jagermeister part really hit home. I can do the exact same thing with Southern Comfort. Maybe we are alcohol-intolerant soulmates? No? What am I talking about? More rhetorical questions? This one isn’t even a question? I’ll stop now……….?

  5. Spat coffee at my monitor trying not to laugh at that…

    (btw, the Job Biblical Action Figure link just takes you to the check-out, theres no picture or anything.Just a minor niggle)

  6. I’m either proud, or sad, that this is my second straight year i’m perusing your list going, “hmm, now why didn’t I think of that as a gift.”

  7. I can’t read the ant farm section without laughing. Seriously it’s about 15 times now, I think it’s the desperate futility of the product as well as the description.

  8. My husband received not one, but TWO of those crapping reindeer for Christmas this year. What’s the message there?

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