Repopelican

New pope intervened against Kerry in US 2004 election campaign:

German Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, the Vatican theologian who was elected Pope Benedict XVI, intervened in the 2004 US election campaign ordering bishops to deny communion to abortion rights supporters including presidential candidate John Kerry. In a June 2004 letter to US bishops enunciating principles of worthiness for communion recipients, Ratzinger specified that strong and open supporters of abortion should be denied the Catholic sacrament, for being guilty of a "grave sin" ...

Hmm. You have to wonder what Ratzinger received in return for this favor. I mean, let’s look at the facts:

  • Karl Rove “went on vacation to Italy” three weeks ago.
  • Shortly thereafter a new group called Noah’s Ark Veterans For Truth springs out of nowhere, and begins airing commercials questioning the character of nearly all of the cardinals except Ratzinger.
  • Likewise, Ratzinger is the only cardinal not mentioned by name in the book, released one week after John Paul II’s death, entitled Unfit For The Popemobile.
  • Ratzinger has never explained the mysterious bulge that was seen in the back of his frock while he delivered his homily last Friday, nor why he shouted “now let me finish!” in the middle of it.
  • Ratzinger frequently mentioned the crucifixion of Christ in speeches and even went so far as to wear a cross around his neck in a cynical attempt to capitalize on the tragedy for theological gain.
  • Also notice that Satan was almost never mentioned by Ratzinger, despite the fact that he remains at large and is unlikely to be captured any time soon.

I’m not saying it was payback, but it sure looks suspicious to me.

Of course Rove may have helped just to stay in practice for 2006.

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13 comments.

  1. HA! Those Catholics crack me up.

  2. I think you’re trying to draw some kind of parallel here . . but you know, Satan’s face is always changing, from one Middle Eastern man to the other.

  3. From the unhyphenated title of your post, I was convinced you were going to tell us all the story of how you got behind in your payments and the car company sent a large-beaked Florida bird to take back your wheels…

    I mean, this was a good post and all, but Repo-Pelican? That has some serious potential.

  4. Why isn’t the Daily Kos all over this? Not a peep on Democratic Underground either. What gives?

  5. Thank GOD someone has the guts to stand up to the New World Order and tell it like it is.

    We’ll find Satan, if we have to defeat this “Pope” to do it! NEVER FORGET!

  6. I have nothing to add except that “Repopelican” makes me laugh and I will be stealing it. I promise to credit you unless I want to look smart and funny.

  7. Actually I saw Satan at the Conoco the other day. Was I supposed to call that in or something?

  8. Regarding those naybobbers out there ridiculing your expenditure of time, I must counter with, “Time well spent!”

  9. You are making up that whole Unfit For The Popemobile book thing right?

  10. Unfit For The Popemobile was a great read. Isn’t it part of Oprah’s Book Club?

  11. Sad to say, but apparantly I have become so suspiciously paranoid about the Republican Party that I believed you for WAY too long into that post.

  12. Great post Yeti! I too kinda fell for it, and then I said HEEEEY, wait a minute! Karl Rove wouldn’t go to Italy! Awww, you got me.

  13. Okay, I know this is off topic, but I just got here and really want me some of those King County Pants. Do you think they come in girl colors? REI? Or Eddie Bauer? Where, oh where can I get me some King County Pants???