MILF

I’ve been reading a lot of Winnie The Pooh books to The Squirrelly, and, I gotta tell you, Kanga is looking pretty fine. Got some junk in the trunk, if you know what I’m sayin’. And makes blueberry muffins at the drop of the hat.

There doesn’t appear to be a Mr. Roo in the equation. Gets a guy to wondering …

Update: Contrary to the baseless assertions of a few emailers, I am not a quote-unquote “furry.” I’m just a guy who wants to have sex with an anthropomorphized marsupial, okay? Apples and oranges, people.

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31 comments.

  1. Wouldn’t it be awesome if I somehow got Dooced for this post? Then, in my resume, I could put “Reason for leaving previous job: wanted to make sweet love to Kanga.”

  2. To be dooced, don’t you have to comment on your coworkers? Are there other furries at your office?

  3. You know, i would label this as disturbed if I wasn’t laughing my ass off reading it. :)

    (PS — Matt, anyone tell you that it was ironic you had the Hummer aiming for the two surviving Beatles in that Photoshopped image?)

  4. Google “pathology in the hundred acre wood”. You’ll never feel the same about Kanga and Roo and the rest.

  5. I am pretty sure this sickness hits all parents in some form.
    I knew it was time to go back to work when “Steve” from Blue’s Clues was looking really appealing.
    Put Kanga down and walk away…You are scaring Roo.

  6. Clearly you’re distraught over the deaths of Piglet and Tigger this past weekend.

  7. Maybe this guy could get you her number.

    (Why am I encouraging you?)

  8. Just to further confuse things, Kanga was actually written as a male character in A.A. Milne’s original draft. Easy, fella.

  9. This wouldn’t be so disturbing if the title wasn’t “MILF”.

  10. With the DF on the internet, it’s unlikely I’ll suffer through many days without a good laugh. Thanks, Matt

  11. As I do recall Kanga is the only female in the story. There is no competition.
    Don’t try the Grimm Brothers’ Tales: you’ll be lost in lust.

  12. “MILF”???

  13. Marsupial I Like to…

  14. nice. plspstpxthx

  15. quote furry unquote

  16. I don’t know if you new this but its weird that you posted something on Winnie the Pooh this week.

    This past week, two old friends of Winnie-the-Pooh died — within just one day of each other.

    Paul Winchell, the veteran actor who gave voice to Tigger, passed away last Friday.

    Then, just one day later, John Fiedler, the voice of Tigger’s chum Piglet, also passed away.

  17. “This past week, two old friends of Winnie-the-Pooh died — within just one day of each other.

    Paul Winchell, the veteran actor who gave voice to Tigger, passed away last Friday. Then, just one day later, John Fiedler, the voice of Tigger’s chum Piglet, also passed away.”

    Gee, that’s mighty convenient. It’s almost as if someone wanted them dead. Someone who doesn’t want a lot of competition, perhaps.

    Keep your eyes open, Voice of Eeyore.

  18. Even odder… this past week, I got a new set of license plates for my car.

    EEY ### – the first letters of Eeyore’s name. I kid you not.

    Bren R.

  19. Umm…Isn’t Kanga a guy?

  20. KILF?

  21. Yeah, I know how it is buddy…have a baby, not much action…pretty soon that boy on Blues Clues is looking so fine…

    “Junk In The Trunk.” I love that.

    The Hummer/Beatles thing was your most brilliant yet. I think Hummer is going to be paying you for that slogan.

  22. This happens all the time. My wife and I have a friend who talks about Anthony Wiggle like he’s Brad Pitt or something, while her husband sits around looking mildly uncomfortable.

  23. This *may* fall under the category of “too much information.”

  24. Maybe you should pick up Karen Finley’s book for parents who have read too much Pooh: http://tinyurl.com/bzh9t

  25. So.. um.. I just admitting that I have a fantasy about Worf from Star Trek TNG. That’s still not putting me in the realm of having to deny being a furry though.

    Now I gotta follow those link suggestions posted in here.

  26. “Then, just one day later, John Fiedler, the voice of Tigger’s chum Piglet, also passed away.”

    Some of us know him as the mild-mannered, somewhat neurotic friend of Winnie the Pooh.

    Others of us remember him as the mild-mannered, somewhat neurotic Jack-the-Ripper style serial killer in the original Star Trek episode “Wolf in the Fold”.

    Guess it depends on your nerd quotient versus your recent procreative exploits.

  27. For the Love of God: please, please get out more.

  28. Matthew, if you ever get down to Australia, let me know homie. I’ll fix ya up with a couple of wild kanga beehutches I bumped with once or twice (know what I’m sayin?).

  29. I’ve always had the suspicion that Tigger’s been giving it to Kanga ever since he moved into the 100 Acre Woods. Why else is Tigger always at Kanga’s house for breakfast? Milne and Disney try to pass Tigger off as Roo’s new best friend, but in reality he’s been going down under while the tyke’s in bed.

  30. Sooo disturbing, on many levels.

  31. Hmm…I wonder what PETA would have to say about this?