It seems like you can’t rip a yuppie’s arm out of its socket these days without acquiring a few “care bands” in the process.
For those of you who have been too busy scouring thrift stories for Rubik’s Cubes and parachute pants to keep abreast of current trends, “care bands” are these rubber rings that people wear around their wrist, each of which costs about a ha’ penny to manufacture and sells for, like, five bucks. People are willing to pay the markup because some amount of the money is contributed to charity, and then the band itself serves as an homage for their largess.
Other weblog might pontificate about the ethical dilemmas posed by this conflation of philanthropy and fashion. But not us, oh my goodness no. We would never presume to judge you, not when there’s a buck to be made.
In fact, we’re willing to take things to a while new level, asking: if your sole purpose in giving to charity is to advertise the fact, why not just skip the whole “giving to charity” step?
That’s why defective yeti is proud to announce CareLess Bands. At only $1 a piece, CareLess Bands cost just a fraction of the cost of traditional care bands. Plus, you can have the message of your choice emblazoned thereon, allowing you to affiliate yourself with the demographic, social movement, or worldview of your choice.
How can we afford to offer a better product for less money? Because we contribute absolutely nothing to worthy causes — and pass the saving on to you!!
But don’t take my word for it — just look at these satisfied customers, all of whom are me:
Note: wearers are not required to have slender, girlish wrists that will snap like twigs in a strong gale, although defective yeti Careless Bands will constrict blood flow to normal-sized hands, resulting in loss of sensation, gangrene, and eventual amputation. Just, you know, FYI.
defective yeti Careless Bands are made from only the finest materials available at Walgreens, and most will include illegible writing and misspellings — proof that each has been lovingly handcrafted. Don’t delay! Paypal $1 to defective yeti today, and get ready to show the world that you care … less!