From an IRC channel I frequent:
matthew: The cute and at-least-ten-years-my-junior barrista at my coffee shop just comped my afternoon decaf. This may be the first fringe benefit of flirting I have ever received.matthew: Aside from the wife and child, that is.
torrez: HAHA. Oh yes, them.
tenuki: You go out for decaf…?
dreamattack: i’ve never understood the drinking of the decaf
potentato: she feels bad charging money for decaf
valmunin: Decaf coffee is just hot water…
matthew: It’s was a decaf latte, okay? A latte. But the latte is beside the point. Cute girls are comping my drinks, people. Can we please stay on topic?
torrez: Aren
Some names have been changed to protect the jerks.
Posted by Matthew on October 27th, 2005.
Haha -V funny
Posted by Charlie Batchelor on October 27th, 2005.
I’d like to emphasize my complaint was only re: decaf. I’m a fancy-boy latte drinker myself.
Posted by potentato on October 27th, 2005.
That’s freakin’ awesome. Good for you for getting comped. And good for them to get on your case.
Decaf is one thing, Latte’s another.
Posted by Pete on October 27th, 2005.
You know that one Star Trek: The Next Generation where Data tries to master the art of the affectionate insult? Once I stopped laughing, I was impressed by how much these guys love you.
Posted by crossinggirl on October 27th, 2005.
Matthew Baldwin: Fancy Lad.
Posted by Keith on October 27th, 2005.
I get my double-Americano’s-no-room, comped all the time by the 20-year-old cute barista girls. Gotta step up to the manly drinks, biznatch.
PS: At least you weren’t ordering soy chai.
Posted by dunsany on October 27th, 2005.
I worked at a coffee place briefly and we called the decaf non-fat lattes a “why bother”
Posted by Kimberly on October 27th, 2005.
Okay, first of all, don’t diss the soy chai. It’s good stuff.
Second of all, Matthew, a decaf latte is no big deal. I get harrassed by my boyfriend (and rightly so) when I walk into a Starbucks and get a ‘grande decaf soy caramel macchiato kid’s temperature [I can't handle the heat, okay?!?!] with foam instead of whipped cream and extra caramel sauce.’ Then he walks down the street to Tim Hortons and gets a ‘regular coffee.’
You can take the girl out of Los Angeles, but you can’t take the Los Angeles out of the girl. It’s sad, it really is.
Posted by Jaclyn on October 27th, 2005.
It’s funny because it’s true. She’s willing to flirt because there’s no danger in a decaf latte guy.
Posted by Greg on October 27th, 2005.
Don’t worry, Matt. I find you frightening.
Posted by Maggie on October 27th, 2005.
Once again we have Matthew Baldwin and “The Doings of Fops”
Posted by Micah on October 27th, 2005.
Come on, already. Get a free scone and we’ll talk. Pansy.
Posted by Beerzie Boy on October 27th, 2005.
Fantastic.
Posted by Amethyst on October 27th, 2005.
Eh, baristas comp all the time. I used to be one, and I definitely did. You’d be tempted to comp decaffers the most, though, since what they were slugging was eminently useless.
Posted by Meg on October 27th, 2005.
Yeah, a decaf latte is cool right? We’re still men, aren’t we? Even though we can’t handle real coffee…and apparently we can’t afford it either.
Posted by Walt on October 27th, 2005.
Crocheted lace doilies.
Posted by nichole on October 27th, 2005.
Matthew, while I find you wildly sexy and dangerous with your decaf lattes (after all, did James Bond drink boilermakers? He did not.), I love your IRC friends. Where do you find such quick, witty folks?
Posted by Belinda on October 27th, 2005.
I’d want compensation for being given a decaf latte too…
Posted by David on October 27th, 2005.
Sorry Matthew, I
Posted by tenuki on October 27th, 2005.
Bwahaaaahaa! I love it.
I won’t mention my secret affection for pumpkin scones at Starbucks.
Posted by SteveB on October 27th, 2005.
Way to salvage your rugged image as a Seattle metropolitan man of action: Next time the nubile barista comps you a decaf latte (snort!), you pull a rusty hipflask from your torn Chinos, look around surreptitiously, pour a shot into the innocuous beverage, wink at the barista conspiratorially and shuffle back to your laptop with a world-weary expression on your face.
She
Posted by Lung the Younger on October 28th, 2005.
That totally reminds me of my IRC friends. Hilarious stuff.
Posted by Ryan Waddell on October 28th, 2005.
De-caf coffee is just dirty bitter water. What the purpose of drinking it. Like drinking non-alcoholic beer. Makes no sense.
Posted by mitch smith on October 28th, 2005.
Hehe! Hilarious.
Posted by PeteCashmore on October 28th, 2005.
Awesome stuff Matthew!
oh and soy chai is DA BOMB!
Posted by Jasen on October 28th, 2005.
Decaf = water with a hard-on
Posted by unclewilly on October 28th, 2005.
“IRC channel.” [this might be offensive]
Posted by josh on October 28th, 2005.
What the heck is “comping?”
And what’s wrong with a soy chai, damnit!?
Posted by victoria winters on October 28th, 2005.
Comping – When you give free stuff away, yet put it through the till as “Complimentary” so, technically, it’s not stealing.
Except that it kinda is.
Posted by James Metcalf on October 28th, 2005.
Mmmmm latte. I think I’m much more likely to carry on flirting with a latte guy than, say, an espresso-with-lemon guy. It’s not so much a matter of sophistication, as just “Wow, lemon. This guy is trying wa-aa-ay too hard to be cool.”
Posted by Maven on October 28th, 2005.
Is this bash.org?
Posted by Mickey on October 29th, 2005.
Every time I get together with a certain friend of mine, I can count on the fact that at some point, he’ll regale me with the decaf jingle from the David Letterman show:
“Decaffeinated coffee / It’s pointless, brown hot water
“Decaffeinated coffee / Say goodbye to your will to live
“Decaffeinated coffee
“Oh, boy! / It sucks!”
That’s his version, anyway.
Posted by Mark on October 29th, 2005.
I just want to know why the hell you didn’t post this on Bash.org
Posted by John F on October 29th, 2005.
YES A LATTE THAT’S WHAT 20 YEAR-OLDS LOOK FOR IN A MAN YOU KNOW: SOPHISTICATION
Wow. There’s robbing the cradle, and then there’s robbing twenty of them.
Posted by ben wolfson on October 29th, 2005.
Matthew Baldwin anagram:
Hid BMW, wan latte.
I think he’s more of a fancy boy than he lets on.
Posted by Jon on October 30th, 2005.
I’d comp you a scone.
and there’s nothing wrong with decaf, I figure decaf drinkers are the only ones that actually like the flavor of coffee (as they’re not really getting anything else out of it).
Posted by Ophelia on November 3rd, 2005.
I used to deliver coffee for a specialty roaster in Lake Tahoe. One of the clients used to sell t-shirts which loudly proclaimed “Death Before Decaf”
Posted by David's Inner Geek on November 9th, 2005.