Pitched Battle

Reuter's headline: Bush Pitches Iraq Strategy Hmm. I wonder which definition of "pitch" they are using.A. To erect and fix firmly in place; B. To present or advertise for sale, especially in a high-pressure way; C. To utter glibly and insincerely; D. To put aside or discard.

Read more

Logorrhea

In my eighteen month Squirrelly Update I mentioned that the twerp's entire vocabulary consisted of the words "kitty" and "Pooh." Since then, though, he's been cranking out words faster than global warming can produce hurricanes. For a while there we were excitedly phoning each other up whenever a new one debuted and trying to keep track of them all but,

Read more

The Bad Review Revue

The Legend of Zorro: "Not only stupid and boring but -- ta-da! -- also really long!" -- Stephen Hunter, WASHINGTON POST Rent: "Commodified faux bohemia on a platter, eliciting the same kind of numbing soul-sadness as children's beauty pageants, tiny dogs in expensive boots, and Mahatma Gandhi in Apple ads" -- Carina Chocano, LOS ANGELES TIMES Saw II: "I'd rather

Read more

Smooth Criminal

Dude, I've totally figured out a way to scam the local dump. I dunno why I never thought of it before. Y'see, the way they figure out how much you owe is to weight your vehicle when you come in, weigh you again when you leave, and then charge you based on the difference. So you drop off 30 lbs

Read more

Board Of Directors: Tom, Dick, And Harry

Leaving work I get on the elevator going down. A man and a woman are already on it, in the middle of a conversation:Man: ... know you're on Jen's team, but -- I'm sorry -- I don't know your name. Woman: Karen. Man: Ah, okay. Nice to meet you. I'm Steve. Woman: You work with Jim, right? Man: I work

Read more

Womb Service

The Squirrelly spends a lot of time in the car: going to and from daycare, to and from swimming lessons, to and from music class. He spends the ride strapped in his car seat, clawing banana cips from his Snack-Trap™, drinking water from his travel sippy cup, and letting the vehicle carry him where it may. Honestly, he wasn't so

Read more

Movies: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

On the presupposition that everyone who's interested in seeing Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire has already read the book, I'm a little more liberal with the spoilers in this review than I am in most. First, a disclaimer: I am not now, nor ever have been, afflicted with Pottermania. I liked the first novel okay and thought the

Read more

Head Light

Snippet of conversation between the men standing behind me in line at the deli:"... when Jesus was born he came out with, like, a halo around his head. Not the round cartoon halo but more like an aura -- his whole head was glowing. He looked awesome."

Read more