Smooth Criminal

Dude, I’ve totally figured out a way to scam the local dump. I dunno why I never thought of it before.

Y’see, the way they figure out how much you owe is to weight your vehicle when you come in, weigh you again when you leave, and then charge you based on the difference. So you drop off 30 lbs of junk and you get charged for 30 lb.

So here’s what I started doing. I let them weigh me in like usual, right? Then I go in and dump off all my garbage. Then (this is the trick) I load my truck up with a bunch of other stuff until it almost weighs as much as when I entered. (I always make it weight a little less — don’t want to seem too suspicious.)

“Oh sure,” I bet you’re thinking, “where are you going to find a bunch of stuff just laying around a dump?” Well, it turns out to be a lot easier than you might think. Plus, there are almost always other people there and they will usually give you whatever they have in their trucks if you ask them. The kindness of strangers and whatnot.

So when I leave the difference in weight is only, like, five pounds, and that’s all I get charged for. Then on the way home I throw all the new stuff into a local ravine. It’s the perfect crime.