I’m A-Start Some Drama

I walked into the kitchen this morning to find The Queen groggily gathering coffee-making accoutrements.

“Wha’cha gonna do wit all dat junk?” I asked her. “All dat junk inside yo trunk?”

She scowled at me as a reminder of the household’s “no conversation before caffeine” rule, but then asked, “What are you saying?”

“No no, that was all wrong” I said, disappointed. “You are supposed to reply …” — I switched to falsetto — “… I

80 thoughts on “I’m A-Start Some Drama

  1. it could be worse.

    it could be “Shake Dat Laffy Taffy”.

    go ahead. google it. I dare you. find an mp3–i double-DOG dare you.

    you will no longer think “My Humps” is the worst, most earwormiest song ever.

  2. For the past ten or so years I wake up in the morning and can’t seem to get “every little step I take” by Bobby Brown out of my head. Until now. I have woken up the past 8 days with “my hump” in my head and I keep humming it as I make breakfast for me and my sister. She is threatening to kill me, but I can’t stop.

  3. True story: There is an *ancient* woman in my office who has an honest to goodness humpback. So whenever I hear the song, I picture good ol’ Betty, with her cane, singing the Fergie parts and pointing to her ACTUAL hump.

    The horror. The horror.

  4. Every time I hear that gawd awful song on the radio, I leave it on a friend’s answering machine…because I also do not want to die.

  5. Hahaha, the first couple times I heard that song, I just assumed that it was a really obvious, obnoxious parody of a Black Eyed Peas song, but when I realized that it was an ACTUAL Black Eyed Peas song, my head exploded.

  6. There is at least a little justice in the world – We Built This City was voted worst record ever.

    While she didn’t write that song, if you want a Name for your Pain, it is Diane Warren. She has a rap sheet as long as your arm of Top Ten hits for such compelling artists as Michael Bolton, Celine Dion, Milli Vanilli, Mariah Carey (didn’t she look plastic on that awards show last night?!), Ace of Bass, Rod Stewart, LeAnn Rimes, Trisha Yearwood, Aerosmith, Whitney Houston, Christina Aguilera, Boyz II Men, Meat Loaf, Cher, Heart, Joe Cocker, even The Cult has scored a hit with a song of hers. Are you beginning to understand the damage she has wreaked? She is a truly awesome goldmine of absolute dreck. Look at her picture on her web site – she is ashamed and looking to the ground, but laughing all the way to the bank.

    By the way, I have a theory… and I will put it bluntly to provoke:

    Girls like Meat Loaf because the songs are stories about high school dating and they are melodramatic and “fun” (or vapid – potato, potahto).

    Guys like Zappa because he can tell the same stories, but from a crude, cynical perspective, with potty humor and with awesome grooves (interspersed with silly sections, which some people like and some don’t). And he can apply the same attitude to larger social and political commentary. And he plays badass guitar.

    Yes, these are “gross” generalizations – but I’ve seen enough of it to put into black and white… let the flame wars begin.

  7. They had the Black Eyed Peas as the performing band at this years Grey Cup (the Canadian equivalent of the Super Bowl). 3 guesses as to one of the songs that was performed.

    I found this 10 times more offensive than that so-called ‘wardrobe malfunction’ that everybody went apeshit over. And I also can’t get the damn song out of my brain – it resurfaces at least 2 or 3 times a day (of course my boss evilly blasting it on his laptop speakers at random times does NOT help at all).

  8. I’m proud to say I’ve never heard this song! You may now groan loudly and curse me to hell for my enviable hump-free superpowers.

  9. Actually, the scientific name for “earworm” is “lyricosis”. Check it out.

    This song is the “Plan 9 from Outer Space” of music. So bad, it’s good.

  10. That is the funniest shit I’ve read in awhile! O my I fell off my chair laughing soo hard. I see that whole scenario between me and my husband, and him doing that to me before coffee too.
    I like the Black Eye Peas, but this song is like a bad wreck, you have to stop and listen, like “what did they just say?” It’s just comical and gets funnier each time you hear it. And I agree with gladys, that Laffy taffy song is the worst! Nothing like picking up your 7yr old at daycare to them making armpit farts singing “laffy taffy”

  11. Oh my god. My GF sent this to me, because we have been losing our shit trying to figure out WTF is up with that song, that video, the people who insist on playing it, liking it, singing it, checking it out

    Holy crap. So, what’s the deal? I have to pass it on now? Jesus. I don’t know if I can do that to somebody.

  12. That American Greetings e-card does the impossible: makes the most terrible song on earth even worse. I watched exactly 2 lines before screaming and quitting my browser.

    Max, you are right on with your comment about The Davinci Code.

    And I agree, the best line in this post is “‘Check it out,’ I added.”

  13. this song since the first time i watched it has driven me so mental i shared it with my best friend – and now, together, we listen to it all the time and laugh our asses off at it and cry about how much it is torturing us. Someone described it as a virus, I think some doctors need to get a hold of this song and do something about it. The crazy frog song by the way, was played a few weekends ago 10 times in a row by my younger siblings with them running around the house and jumping on my bed singing to it while I huddled up in a ball talking to my friend fearing my life and more importantly my sanity…

    when someone solves this please tell me?

  14. I kept on getting dysentary and a rash, and i went to the doctor, who did a skin test of various things i had ate or made contact with over the last few days.

    I dont get alergic reactions usually,

    I found out the rash was from a flower at my mothers house

    When i got home this song was on and i violently crapped my pants for the next 24 hours

  15. while i was on holiday in germany i was watching music channels and all that came on was my humps and some german crap. anyway, im a goth and usually these songs want to make me vomit but after constantly listenin to it, i fell in love with it and bought the singe. now my mum and i dance around the living room like utter nutters shaking our arses at everything. BTW whoever sed that system of a down rule YOU R SO RIGHT. ive met them,theyre so kind!!!
    AMY

  16. I actually love the Black Eyed Peas, and I first heard this song in the middle of the night after I had just left a club in Orlando where I live. I was driving myself, and no one was with me. I was screaming out loud in my car, lmao, asking WTF is this SONG!!! So, I did not really understand the words by that point, just “my humps” and “my lovely lady lumps”. Since I was a little buzzed, it was extra funny, then I have heard it so many times that I nearly have it memorized…SCARY. But I never listen to it purposely, only the 20 times it gets played on MTVH, mostly on Comcast only… :)

  17. I read this post back in mid December and nearly fell out of my chair laughing.

    Then, two weeks ago I was in the car with my husband (who I got hooked on this blog) and my mother-in-law when I happened to turn on my new xm radio to hear…

    THAT SONG. I was so amused (having never heard it) I yelled ohmygod it’s the song from defective yeti! and refused to turn it off.

    My mother-in-law thanks you, I’m sure.

  18. The word “lumps” makes me think of an old joke. It’s really disgusting, but I’m going to tell it anyway. Ready?

    “There are lumps in my milk”, said the blind man who drank from the tuberculotic man’s spit cup.

    And yes, Fergie does look scary.

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