- Once again Jesse Jackson heroically hurls himself between the givers and the receiver of publicity.
- The website doesn’t specify the source of the findings, but I strongly suspect they have been drawn from the scientific discipline commonly known as “making shit up.”
- Dear sir, I don’t wish to brag
Of my wealth but I’ve hit a small snag.
These fund I must move
So would you approve
Of a cut of Nigerian swag?
- Check out, the comma usage, in the linked, page. It’s like listening, to someone who, just climbed some stairs, and is out, of breath.
- The porn industry was one of the driving forces behind the invention of photography, as they were tired of having to describe blowjobs to patrons. True fact, look it up.
- Some of you younger kids might not remember this, but there was a time in America when people acted stupid for free! It’s true, they just gave it away! People acted like utter dopeity dopes and never received a penny in compensation. But then someone figured out that acting stupid could net you a fortune, by, say, pretending like you were honestly and completely unaware that eating fattening foods would cause you to become fat, or claiming that you thought cigarette warnings only applied to other people. Now stupidism accounts for over 13% of America’s economy, and this clever exploitation of a previously free resource is exactly the kind of Horatio Alger-esque ingenuity that makes America great.
- You may think that life without men would just be one giant party. But the first time all the women in the world went out to do karaoke and realized that “Islands in the Streams” was no longer an option, they would be very, very sad.
- If this backfires, the scandal will be called “Conju-gate”.
- I discovered the identity of my girlfriend’s next-to-last lover with AntePenUltiMate™!
- The next time I get coffee in my office’s Break Room, I’m going to take one sip of it, spit it out, and loudly exclaim “Jesus Christ! This tastes like a tree-dwelling marsupial ate the ripest and reddest coffee cherries, and then somebody made coffee out of the beans, which were excreted fairly intact and still wrapped in layers of the cherries’ mucilage!”
- If you believe in evolution you can justifiably call any US citizen an “African-American”
- Of course Courtney Love is in favor of file sharing. The whole concept of taking someone else’s good songs for personal use was the essence of Hole.
- I just like that the word “Extreme” is now associated with two things: (1) People engaging in athletic events which require a staggering amount of physical prowess; and (2) People sitting on their fat asses and imbibing a staggering amount of cola.
- Moral of the story: DON’T FUCK WITH THE EBERT!
- I am sickened by the sheer ignorance of the people on Mefi in general and in this thread in particular, and that is why I’m leaving for good. No, I’m totally serious this time. I just removed my bookmark. And when everyone belatedly realizes what an important member I was to this community and rallies to my defense and publicly chastises those (and you know who you are) who brought me to this point, I will unfortunately never ever know about it because, as I mentioned before, I am not coming back. Even if someone emails me privately (firstname.lastname@example.org) to let me know that everyone wants me to return and that the site has basically gone to shit since my departure, it won’t matter because I’m done with you all. I mean it. I’m using UnInstall Wizard right now to remove my browser. Goodbye.
March 2nd, 2006
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