Hey Hey Hey!

I haven’t written about politics much recently. Of course I haven’t written much about yams recently either, another thing that typically makes me want to throw up. Go figure.

Let’s see, what’s going on? Today Bush met with Jason McElwaine, the austic kid who scored 20 points in four minutes for his basketball team.

“I saw the video and just had to meet this kid,” said the President. “In front of all these cameras,” he added. “Because Rove made me.”

Later, he explained motivation for his visit. “As I am clearly unable to inspire this nation, I though I’d come stand next to someone who could.”

Also today, Pew Research released the results of a poll in which they asked people to use a single word to describe Bush.

We need to pull Casey Kasem out of retirement so he can count these down “America’s Top 40″ style. “And now a newcomer to the countdown, but a rising star. It’s number 10: ass.”

It’s weird that “sucks” only appears in February of 2005, and “ass” now shows up outta nowhere. Maybe seven people wanted to says “sucks ass” last year but, when they found out they were limited to a single word, they decided to parcel their reply out in annual installments.

And I love that six people describe the President as “President.” What, did they conduct this poll at a National Association of Literialists convention or something? Man, I hope they include me in the 2007 poll so I can say “bipedal.”

Democrats, meanwhile, continued to demonstrate their unwavering commitment to vacillation by reacting to Sen. Feingold’s proposal to formally censure Bush the same way my cats react to a vacuum cleaner.

Feingold’s censure motion appears to be mostly grandstanding, granted, but at least someone in the opposition party has decided to give opposing a whirl. Or perhaps it’s all a clever ploy on Feingold’s part. The Republicans responded to his proposal by issuing a set of talking points headlined The Debate Is Over: Dems Find Their Agenda. And Democrats were all, like, LOL WE TOTALLY TRICKED YOU — WE HAVE NO AGENDA!!

Actually, that’s unfair. The Democrats clearly do have an agenda: don’t say or do anything that could be construed as controversial by anyone anywhere. Who says they aren’t the party of religion? Quite the contrary, they seem to have adopted Jesus’s prediction that “the meek shall inherit the earth” as their official 2006 midterm election strategy.

“I don’t know the key to success,” Bill Cosby once said, “but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” It’s pretty sad when a political party needs to take tips from Fat Albert, but there you go.

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7 comments.

  1. When I loaded it, the article about Feingold setting the Democratic Party Agendy was accompanied by a “V for Vendetta” ad, a still of the movie’s tyrannical dictator, played by John Hurt, surrounded by 1984ish slogans. Not knowing what Feingold looks like, I initially assumed it was an ad photo.

  2. I noticed a couple of things about the list of descriptors:
    1. The descriptor “Christian” is a direct correlation with the descriptor “Incompetent”
    2. Honorable is at the bottom of the list until it drops off entirely

  3. Wow, you managed to capture the entire American political scene in just one post. The Republican president has incompetently misguided the entire country, while the Democrats have desperately searched for J.R.’s killer!

  4. “1. The descriptor “Christian” is a direct correlation with the descriptor “Incompetent”
    2. Honorable is at the bottom of the list until it drops off entirely”

    Also check out how Chrisitan rises almost in direct proportion to Liar.

  5. The Coz is a prick but his words ring true.

  6. A consistent stupid liar has integrity as long as he stupidly and consistently lies. So integrity applies in this case. Just sayin’.

    Previous comments caught a couple other things I noticed.

  7. randomly stumbling across this site made my day and made me quite happy. Thanks for the smile(s).