Take Your Best Shot

Conversation with a fellow dad over drinks:

Me: How old is your son, now?

A: Five and a half.

M: Going into kindergarten next year, then?

A: Yeah. That’s kind of a hot topic of debate at our house these days. He’s currently going to Montessori, and we have to decide if we’re going to put him in public school.

M: Right. And you, bleeding heart liberal that you are, are advocating public schools. Because you want to give your child a ruinous education and score a few cheap political points.

A: Exactly. In fact, that’s kind of the problem: the Seattle school system is actually pretty good, so it’s not even like we’re throwing him to the wolves. It’s more like we’re throwing him to a bunch of puppies. It doesn’t burnish our liberal credentials at all.

M: That’s rough, man. Well, look at the bright side: the way things are going, I’m sure the “Indeterminate War On Terror” will still be in full swing 13 years from now. So you can always encourage your son to enroll him in the military after high school, thereby proving some sort of political point or another.

A: Hmm, that’s a thought. Of course, if we don’t put him in public school he’ll probably wind up in a specialized military academy for Montessori graduates. They’ll be all, like, “We’re not going to tell you who to shoot. Just get out there on the battlefield and express yourself.”

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11 comments.

  1. Owww, my gut hurts and my pants are pissed. Did you shoot beer out of your nose? Just get out there and express yourself… BWAH!

  2. >”We’re not going to tell you who to shoot. Just get out there on the battlefield and express yourself.”

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

  3. Perfect. Ah, Montessori.

  4. You mean there’s actually another dad out there who’s as funny as you are?

  5. It’s true. There’s no right or wrong way to shoot the enemy. It’s whatever works for you.

  6. That is brilliant

  7. We love my daughter’s Montessori and ended up keeping her there for Kindergarten. At her birthday party (stocked with other Montessori kids, of course) we witnessed the avoidance of a potential crying fit when one of the children yelled out, “Wait, everyone! Let’s use our words and wait our turn!”

    This prompted another Montessori dad & me to imagine “Lord of the Flies: Montessori Version” wherein a bunch of kids are stranded on an island and end up creating a stable society that has eliminated conflict and includes universal health care.

    Sigh. Lord help her when she has to fend for herself on the playground next year.

  8. Awesome. Sent to my old army buddy whose mother runs a Montessori.

  9. “the Seattle school system is actually pretty good”

    good one, but, please, stop it with the school jokes, you’re killing me

  10. It’s amazing how you can remember such a long conversation. LOL

  11. The school is for educating and giving knowledge. The choice of school shouldn’t depend on the political view of parents.