Shortly after Mr. and Mrs. Girl visited Seattle, Maggie wrote about her husband's hithertofore secret addiction to Harry Potter on her website. I dropped her a note to sympathize:Me: If we'd known our spouses shared the same affliction we could have gotten them going on Harry Potter and then slipped off to catch a movie. Maggie: The Queen too, eh?
I ask my friend A. why he is so tired.A: I've been getting up every morning at five to watch World Cup games. Me: Still? The US is out, man. A: I'm not rooting for a team, I'm rooting for the entire thing. Go soccer! Besides, I'm kind of glad we got eliminated. They say that playing soccer is a
There are a hundred different methods for toilet training a toddler, most of which revolve around incentives and punishments designed to coerce their child to poop in their potty. The Queen and I are trying a different tack. We're just going to teach The Squirrelly to enjoy sitting alone in a small room every morning for as long as he'd
Garfield: A Tale Of Two Cities: ""Kids should see Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties. It'll help prepare them for a lifetime of mediocre entertainment ahead." -- Kyle Smith, NEW YORK POST The Shaggy Dog: "As a comic actor, Tim Allen's palette is limited to varying degrees of beige." -- Ann Hornaday, WASHINGTON POST Waist Deep: "Hall writes and directs
When Coca-cola debuted it was sold in 6 oz. bottles. Six ounces! Today the thought of drinking a mere 6 oz. of Coke seems unfathomably quaint, like riding around in a carriage or steadfastly refusing to believe it's not butter. I remember buying the 8 oz. "half cans" of Coke at the local market when I was a kid, but
In the months before The Squirrelly was born, The Queen and I had many discussion about whether we would prefer a boy or a girl, and, in the end, we decided that it didn't really matter. But I can tell you one thing: if we'd been given a choice, we certainly wouldn't have opted for a two year old.
It only took me a week to realize that a much better name for the explainline would be "the aftermirth."
Files Are Not For Sharing, a collaboration between Goopy and I, appears in The Morning News today. Apologies to Elizabeth Verdick, author of the "Xs Are Not For Ying" series. They really are good books and The Squirrelly likes 'em a lot, so go buy a few to assuage my guilt.
I'm not proud of my youthful indiscretions. But on Father's Day, when those cards and gifts arrive from children all over the United States, I have no regrets.
The Queen: I think Bush is in town for a few days. Me: He was just here this morning. He left a few hours ago. The Queen: Ah. I wondered why the sun came back out.