Crude and Oil

Best Ann Coulter interview ever.

I’ve recently started listening to the Adam Corolla show in the morning. I couldn’t stand The Man Show or Loveline, but Corolla is well suited to freeform, topic-less rambling and raving. He seems like he might be jerk, but he’s a highly-intelligent jerk with a trigger-quick wit and a wizard with the ad-lib analogy. He is flanked by Affable Goofball Dave Damesheck and Remarkably Good Sport Teresa Strasser. Here is a snippet of typical banter .

Much of the show is sexist, racist, mean-spirited, and just plain boorish, and I occasionally have to switch to NPR reassure myself that I am still an liberal elitist. But my commute is only 10 minutes long, and that’s usually the perfect dose of these guys. (Though I will then sometimes listen to them on my walkman again later in the morning, as I use the ecliptic trainer at the gym. It was there that I heard the above Coulter interview, and could not stop guffawing.)

Speaking of Corolla, this morning he spoke with Chris Paine, writer and director of the film Who Killed The Electric Car?. They talked a bit about the various conspiracy theories surrounding the auto industry, pointing out that GM introduced an electric car in 1990, only to later recall and destroy nearly all of the vehicles the moment the law requiring 10% of California cars to be electric was repealed.

That’s a pretty good conspiracy theory, as these things go. But I think mine is better. I don’t think cars run on gasoline at all. I think that, after the crisis of the 70′s, car manufactures figured out how to make their products run on air, but when the oil companies objected they agreed to hornswoggle consumers into believing that gas was still necessary: A fuel hole that goes nowhere, a device in the useless tailpipe that produces smoke, and a mechanism that shuts down the car if the gas needle ever reaches “E.”

Think about it: you never actually see any of the purported “fuel” you put into your Chevy: you put a nozzle into your gas tank hole, you wait a few minutes, you take it out, and then you gotta pay thirty bucks. (60′s era comedian, with a scotch in one hand and a cigar in the other: “Sounds a lot like my love life.”)

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20 comments.

  1. Awesome…truly awesome…I feel better about life now.

  2. Interesting response from an insider about GM’s electric car:

    http://groups.google.com/group/rec.arts.sf.fandom/msg/01b5d27d94622692

  3. They actually DO have cars that run on air.

    http://www.theaircar.com.

  4. But how do the pumps know when I’m filling up a gas can to run my lawnmower?

  5. My commute is 45 minutes, so I just leave it on NPR. Now way I’d be able to stomache Adam for that long, but I’m glad I had a chance to hear this ‘interview’. That rocks.

  6. Finally, someone who is in accord with my Hornswoggle Theory.

  7. I swear, it’s the first interview where she didn’t offend the hell out of me.

  8. I heard that the other morning as well, and it cemented my opinion that Adam C. is indeed brilliant. But how can you NOT like The Man Show. I mean, boobs, beer, and burping. Perfection.

  9. The all-time wittiest comment I ever heard Adam Corolla make was on Loveline when he interrupted the ramblings of a particularly uncouth female caller to ask where she had gone to “finishing school”. His comment, predictably, sailed right over her head, which was what made it so damn funny.

  10. “Hey Ann, why the long face?”

    Like those Guinness ads: Brilliant!

    Gee, who would have thought verbally assaulting 9/11 widows to make a cheap buck would make someone unlikeable? She probably has great jokes for the Holocaust Denial / Christian Right as well.

    Thank you, Ann, for keepin’ it real!

  11. Rimshot, please maestro.

  12. The only thing worse than people who claim the only TV they watch is PBS are people who claim that the only talk radio they listen to is NPR.

  13. I’m not sure what’s worse..
    People who claim that the only TV they watch is PBS or people who claim that the only talk-radio they listen to is NPR.

  14. I’ve seen what comes out of fuel nozzles- it’s rasberry jam.

  15. Electric Cars are Alive and Well at ZAP http://www.zapworld.com ZP (NYSE). A California based company, who has been importing, retrofitting and distributing the Smart car for the last year, is the only car company who is selling a Chinese manufactured car in the US the 100% electric Xebra city car. It can reach speeds of up to 40 mph, has a range of up to 40 miles and takes 6-8 hours to fully recharge. And charges with your standard 110V outlet.

  16. Henry Rollins played the clip on his radio show last night and passed on the little nugget from Jeneane(sp?) Garafalo that everytime you hear Ann Coulter say “In point of fact…” the very next thing she says is a lie :-).

  17. Apparently you’ve never worked at a gas station and had to clean up after some idiot who pulled out too soon.

    Now THAT sounds like MY love life.

  18. Almost every day I hear something on Adam Carolla that makes me question why I keep listening. Yet the next morning I’m hooked from the moment I push the “on” button on my pathetic-one-speaker-only car radio.

  19. Hey, is that the Teresa Strasser who used to be on While You Were Out? She *is* a remarkably good sport.

  20. I long ago decided that gasoline and cars were just a belief system. We believe that gas is going into the car. We believe the the gas gauge is telling us how much gas we have left and we believe that if we don’t get more the car won’t work any more.

    I think that if your faith that this was all a bunch of hooey was strong enough, you could keep driving forever. Sadly, my faith is apparently not up to snuff, as I keep refilling.

    I don’t have any real proof, but I do have a few interresting facts. First of all, I have had times were I have driven for a much longer time than I normally do and it isn’t until I remember to think about gas that I suddenly need it. Also, I have also gone to the gas station when the gauge says that I need 1/2 a tank and filled it up with the amount of gas that usually goes into an empty tank.

    Anyway, if someone manages to convince themselves well enough that gas is an illusion and you find you no longer have to buy gas, please let me know.

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