Brash Machine

My local ATM has become aggressively informal. At first it was just small things, like saying “Sure” and “No, thanks” instead of “yes” and “no” when asking if I want a receipt. But now it’s completely out of control. Now it’s all, “Howdie-ho, neighbor! Hot enough for ya? Well golly gee willikers, what can I do you for?”

Obviously some bank honcho thinks that patrons will respond favorably to this folksy, conversational style, but I find it repellant. I don’t even like it when actual-human colleagues call me “Matt,” so I don’t really need a freakin’ machine chumming up to me like we’ve just spent the evening polishing off a half-rack of Coors.

And it seems to be worse every time I go there. At this point, pretty much every question and menu option has been meticulously phrased to be as laid-back as possible, and they’ve even revised some of the older, breezy responses to make them more casual. God knows where it will end.


52 thoughts on “Brash Machine

  1. Something pulled from MSNBC about ATMs in Japan

    “Japanese banks have long had a reputation for poor service, but at least one is trying something new

  2. I’m sorry I’m getting to this one a little late, but, Jesus Christ, that has to be one of the funniest posts I’ve ever read.

    You must bank at WaMu, don’t you?

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