Headline News

Pluto Vows To Run As An Independant Rocky, barren mass, having lost "major planet" status by a narrow vote in the International Astronomical Union, fends off charges that its orbit is "erratic" and slams rival UB313 for being "on the fringe of the solar system."

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Myth Buster!

We're trying to toilet train The Squirrelly, but it's tough going. He knows how to pee (does he ever) and he knows how to sit on the potty, but the idea of doing both simultaneously hasn't quite clicked. On the rare occasions that it happens accidentally we praise him to the heavens and generally act as though his pissing in

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Every Time A Friend Succeeds

In war movies it is a common practice for the members of a squad to pool their money, buy an expensive bottle of booze, and agree that the last man alive gets to drink it. If I had made a similar deal with my friends last year, substituting "last guy to hit the big time" for "die," I'd be well

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Movies: A Scanner Darkly

I don't get out to the cinema often these days. But there are certain classes of film that I will always make an effort to see in the theater, among them:Movies based on the work of Phillip K. DickAnimated movies aimed at an adult audienceMovies written and directed by Richard LinklaterAs A Scanner Darkly falls into all three categories, I

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Where There’s Smoke There’s Ire

If you drive around downtown Seattle long enough, eventually you'll see the billboard of a little girl eating a dead, bloodied rat. (Warning: the hypertext immediately preceding this sentence reading "a little girl eating a dead, bloodied rat" links to a picture of a little girl eating a dead, bloodied rat.) It's a wonderful thing to see as I'm commuting

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Don’t Roll Off!

I had $1.5 million burning a hole in my pocket, so I bought one of them floating beds. It's pretty cool. Magnets embedded into the bottom of the bed and the floor keep the contraption hovering a few feet above the ground. Unfortunately, it wasn't until I got home and set the whole thing up and climbed in that I

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Stalkeyed

Rob Cockerham is a veritable fount of zany schemes, which is why is he often called "The Lucy Ricardo of the Web." (Actually, no one has ever called him that, but y'all should do so from this day forward.) You should read about his newest hairbrained / divinely-inspired project here, especially if you live anywhere near Sacramento. It sounds so

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Prodigal Son

It took Michelangelo eleven months to cover the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel with a series of dizzyingly elaborate patters and illustrations, and he required a team of five painters to do it. The Squirrelly must be some kind of prodigy, because he managed to do essentially the same thing to the hard wood floor in our kitchen in about

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