Survival of the Spinest

The spinach / illness outbreak has been traced to a company called "Natural Selection". I bet their mission statement reads "Use Darwinian techniques to create a breed of E. coli-resistant homo sapiens."

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Go For It!

Retroblast is having a contest: create a motivational poster based on a video game or pinball machine. This was my entry.  

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The Long And The Short Of It

Email.To: matthew@defectiveyeti.com From: lestradal@supermailing.be Subject: CAN YOU HELP ME OUT? Dear friend, I hope that this mail will not be an embarrassment to you. Listen and read carefully, I found your contact from a business journal and that is why I have decided to involve you in this transaction. I was a woman of substance and of great importance to

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Kitten Love

In my recent post about The Squirrelly's criminal tendencies, I included a photo of the kid wrasslin' with (and losing to) his stuffed kitty. This prompted one reader to comment:why does the cat look like it god blood all over it and wasnt cleaned to well?Good question. I couldn't have typed it better myself. As the many sticklers for spelling,

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Double-Fisted Tales Of Work

There's a conference room at my place of business that is occupied, every morning from 9:00 - 10:00, with what must be the most attractive people at my company. Seriously, sometimes I peek through the window in the door and just marvel at the miles of whitened teeth. I can only assume that they are planning our Homecoming Dance or

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Research Day: Taco Bell And The Ozone Layer

Why is Taco Bell so named?: When I was nine or ten, I was in the car with my dad when we passed one of the Taco Bells that were springing up all over our suburb. "Why do they call it that?" I asked. My father, a classical music aficionado, thought for a moment and said "I think it's a

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Project Management

Here's an easy way to determine which couples are the parents of toddlers: listen for the people who describe five-minute tasks in terms of "a project."You: What are you guys up to this evening? Couple That May Be The Parents Of A Toddler: The batteries in our remote control died, so we'll be replacing those tonight. Not that we ever

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HI MOM!

Great news! As many of you remember, I went to a Seattle audition for a reality program a few months back, but everything was very hush-hush and I couldn't talk about it much at the time. Well the show has just been announced, and I can finally spill the beans: I'll be appearing on the fifth episode of FOX's new

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And You Shall Know Him By The Trail Of Stuffed

No parent wants to think that the choices they are making will result in their child someday going on a seven state killing spree. But a couple of our recent decisions have left The Queen and I wondering. First, we got him toy at a garage sale which allows him to mix-and-match a variety of head, torso, and foot pieces

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