Kitten Love

In my recent post about The Squirrelly’s criminal tendencies, I included a photo of the kid wrasslin’ with (and losing to) his stuffed kitty. This prompted one reader to comment:

why does the cat look like it god blood all over it and wasnt cleaned to well?

Good question. I couldn’t have typed it better myself. As the many sticklers for spelling, punctuation, and grammar who read this site are fond of pointing out.

Perhaps you haven’t been properly introduced to Kitty:

Squirrelly and Kitty

As you have so astutely observed, Kitty appears to god blood all over it, as though it wasnt cleaned to well. We have no idea why this is the case, because Kitty was something of a stray and we know little of its history.

Shortly after The Squirrelly’s second birthday, my cousin K. brought over a box of her old stuffed animals, which had sat in her parent’s garage for years. “Thanks,” we said, “but don’t feel bad if he doesn’t take to any of them. He’s never shown an interest in stuffed animals.” Still, after she opened the box, The Squirrelly obligingly sauntered over to it, folded himself in half, and mooned us as he buried his head and torso in the toys. Duckies and bunnies went flying over his shoulders as he rummaged around.

Then, suddenly, he straightened, holding an toy I’d describe as “looking like something the cat dragged in” if cats made a habit of dragging in cats. Scraggly, lacking a nose, and with inexplicably red-tinged fur, it was the stuffed animal you’d expect to find forlornly standing against the wall after all the others were picked for kick-ball.

“Kitty!!” The Squirrelly announced.

We asked K. how Kitty had come to be in such a sorry state, but she confessed ignorance, admitting that she had never been very fond of the toy and barely remembered it at all. But Kitty and The Squirrelly have been thick as thieves ever since.

How on earth could anyone get attached to such an unattractive specimen, you may wonder. As is usual in these case, it can be summed up in two words: rebound romance.

Kitty fills the void left by The Squirrelly’s One True Love, Mia. Mia was a curly red-headed toddler that attended The Squirrelly’s music class, around the time he was 20 months. While all the other children sat quietly in a circle, listening to the teachers play guitar or sing “Shoo Fly,” Squirrelly and Mia would wile away the hour galumphing around the room like a pack of hyenas, exploring every nook and cranny and upending plastic bins of tambourines.

I distinctly remember the moment The Squirrelly fell in love. Each child and each parent had been given a resonator bell — you know, a wooden block with a single xylophone key on top of it? — and a mallet.

The Squirrelly went to town on his bell, walloping it with as much gusto as he could muster, determined to be the loudest in the classroom. Mia, meanwhile, sat across from us, looking serenely from her bell to her mother’s, clearly cooking up a plan. After a few moments she decided upon a course of action. She picked up her bell in one little hand, seized her mother’s bell in the other, held them such that the keys faced each other, and clapped them together like blackboard erasers. The result was cacophony; The Squirrelly immediately stopped what he was doing to watch the spectacle, as pink and red hearts floated out of the top of his head.

Alas, the class ended a few months later, at that was the last we saw of Mia. It was shortly thereafter that The Squirrelly hooked up with Kitty.

We all know that Kitty is just a place holder, until The Squirrelly again meets a woman more adept at making a godawful racket than he. Until that day, though, they are all but inseparable.

Squirrelly Kitty Kiss


30 thoughts on “Kitten Love

  1. So if Squirrelly has his own Little Red-Haired Girl, does that make him Charlie Brown? I picture him as more of a Schroeder.

    And I love the expressions on his face in these photos!

  2. Haha!! Imagine my suprise when I read th first paragraph of this post. It was about my comment!!! Also dear internet I am sorry I typed my comment hastily. Next time I would like to make a comment ill be sure to set aside some time to do it properly. Mr. Baldwin a little piece of me is now on the internet, I thank you

  3. This post managed to make me laugh after an all-day-trying-to-keep-a-nine-month-old-from-maiming-herself-as-she-cruises-along-obliviously marathon. And for that, well, I just don’t know how to thank you. I also thank you for the warning to keep boxes of unattractive stuffed animals far, far away from my baby, lest we get stuck with a creature such as Kitty. (No offense, Kitty.)

  4. I had a teddy-bear with the same pink colour. It’s plastic nose frequently dropped off too, I can’t remember how many times my mother had to sow it back on.
    It must have been an early seventies rage for pink stuffed animals.

  5. All your talk of them being thick as thieves got me thinking of calvin and hobbes, to be honest. You should watch out for any other signs – kitty cutting the squirrelly’s hair, for example…

  6. Just speculating here, although two children over the age of three gives me a pretty good basis, but I think the “god blood all over it” in this case is some form of juice that dried before it could be properly cleaned off. Cranberry perhaps? Hawaiian Punch? Or perhaps a nice shade of Kool Aid?

  7. I had a mangy doll, named Sally and found in the gutter: more loved than the fancy Mme. Alexanders. She also had red hair …

    It’s wonderful that the Squirrelly is in love, and how about that eye contact!

    (ps. while /= wile)

  8. My daughter used to have two favourites when small. There was a panda named “Ping” (I think we’d been maxing out on “Turandot” at the time) and an indescribable (though not unlike Kitty) pink thing named, reasonably enough, “Thing”.

    18 years on, Ping is still in the frame, but Thing has been relegated to the bottom of a heap somewhere. These things work themselves out.

  9. When I was little, according to family lore, I was in love with an onion that I found growing in the backyard. I picked it and we were inseparable for weeks, until a neighbor complimented it and my dad gave it to the neighbhor, who chopped it up for soup in front of me. I’m not over that. Kudos for not chopping up Kitty.

  10. ah, Kitty…

    Kitty takes me back to the heady days of 1979 when I met the first love of my life; “Talk-Baby”.

    Talk-Baby was found on the side of the road by my older brother and cousin. It was love at first sight. I got her when I was 2, and we finally parted when I sent her to Talk Baby heaven around the age of 15 (after an extended stay in a trunk in the basement).

    Mind you now, Talk Baby didn’t talk (never did, wasn’t even designed to. We don’t know why I called her Talk Baby), and most of her hair ended up being ripped out, and she was missing a couple of fingers (thanks to an overly agressive GI Joe) and most of an eye. And my aunt had to stitch her into to some crazy hoodie-leotard to keep her face from falling off, but she was my Talk-Baby, and there will never be another.

    Here’s to Kitty, hopefully she makes The Squirrelly as happy as Talk Baby did me for the first years of my life.

  11. Not to be a stickler or anything, but your curtain rod pulley ropes are dangerously low. They pose a real choking hasard. As a father of a 15 month old, I’ve spent the better part of my (formerly) free time trying to get the house to look less of a death trap. She finds all of them.

    I only noticed the noose in the picture (the first one) since I got about a bajillion safety clasps for all of mine. The wife loves blinds. I hate purple headed kids (I miss Hedburg). End of story.

    PS: Your cousin is lying. No doll looks more loved that that kitty. Ask any former kid to describe the final state of their stuffy and they will describe something that would get people arrested. She’s just too ashamed to admit to loving a stuffed animal that much. Your squirrel sensed it. Its natural.

  12. I have an 18-foot long hot-pink snake that I’m very fond of. I got it when I was 22. The company that I first worked for when I got out of college had a contract with a large Japanese firm. This was the late-80s/early-90s, when Japan had the secret sauce and everyone wanted to be just like them. If one or two people in my group had work that required them to work overtime, everyone else in the group had to stay late with them because, hey, that’s how the Japanese did it (according to my manager). I was so angry about having to waste time after work in the office instead of having fun on my own time that when I got my first overtime check I decided to blow it on something totally useless (um, it made sense at the time). I happened to be in a Toys-R-Us, saw the snake suspended from the ceiling in the stuffed animal department, and said “I want THAT.”

    Now, of course, it’s a daily reminder that my job is not my life, which is why I think I’m so fond of it.

    By the way, years after I left that company I met some folks who still worked there. Apparently the company changed its overtime policy such that employees had to work a 50 hour week before they could start to get paid any overtime. Management said that it was because “too many people abused overtime” on the project with the Japanese firm. I found this to be very ironic, seeing how it was our manager that was forcing us to do it.

  13. Look at how tightly he’s holding onto Kitty! That’s wonderfully adorable and cute.

    Not to freak any parents of sons out, or anything, but my older brother grew up with a blue blanket that he loved more than anything else. Has loved it, in fact, for the majority of his 27 years… and it even made the trek with him west-bound where he is now a site-super in a large construction firm. It hides in his bed. His girlfriend may or may not be weirded out by this.

    But Kitty is cute.

  14. Heh. My kitty brings home stray kitties of his own all the time. Kind of like on Dharma & Greg where the pet dog has his own pet dog? At our last place we came home one day to find a strange orange kitty eating the dog food, with our Ozzie sitting right next to him (Ozzie was going through a dog food phase at the time). “Jack” became a regular fixture in our carport soon after. Now we’ve moved (sans Jack), and it’s the little white cat from 2 doors down, and the grey kitty from across the street. My catfood bill is getting outrageous.

  15. I enjoy all your stuff, but The Squirrelly stories are always the best (and the ones I send to family to read).

    Though something about Kitty is a tad unsettling.
    If you look at those two pics..Kitty seems to have that wide-eyed look of absolute horror. :)

  16. Do you hear this funny bizarro voice in your head when you read bad spellers on the internet? Maybe it’s just me. To me, the l33t guy sounds like the kid who goes “ha ha” on the Simpsons. I’d hate to meet most of them, but I probably went to school with them.

  17. I told my family the same thing when everyone thought it was a great idea to bring KJ a stuffed toy whenever they’d come, “you can if you’d like, he doesn’t ever play with stuffed animals though.” He does take good care of one small stuffed sheep that my niece gave him though. What made this one special to him? I reckoned it was who gave it to him. He loves Monique, who he calls “Mo-Geek”

Comments are closed.