The Long And The Short Of It

Email.

To: matthew@defectiveyeti.com
From: lestradal@supermailing.be
Subject: CAN YOU HELP ME OUT?

Dear friend,

I hope that this mail will not be an embarrassment to you. Listen and read carefully, I found your contact from a business journal and that is why I have decided to involve you in this transaction.

I was a woman of substance and of great importance to my nation and the society in general. I will not entertain any act of unseriousness from you in this transaction. You must take instructions from me at blah blah blah blah ...

You know why I have never fallen for this scam? Because I get bored and drift off to play Funny Farm by the second paragraph. Apparently these swindles only work if you include more back-story than Lost.

If someone just wrote “HEY YOU PAYPAL ME $10,000 AND I WILL IMMEDIATELY PAYPAL YOU $1,000,000,000,000 FOR COMPLICATED REASONS THIS IS TOTALLY NOT A TRICK!!!” I might actually do it. If only out of gratitude that the email wasn’t as freakin’ long as Infinite Jest.

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