Tips On Parenting My Toddler, Supplied By Dylan, A 13 Year-old Relative, During A Recent Visit

Has he seen the Lord Of the Rings movies? He should see them because they will make him want to read books like the Harry Potter books.

If you keep kissing him so much you’re going to make him gay.

If you keep throwing him in the air like that he’s going to get like a brain injury.

He’s probably too young to play [the name of some absurdly complicated trading card game that I didn’t quite catch] but there are easier games like Pokemon and he could learn to play that. I could loan you some of my Pokemon cards since I don’t play it any more, but I would just be loaning them to you, not giving them to you, because some of those cards are worth a lot of money, like a hundred dollars for one card.

You know what would be really cool? If instead this baby music you played Eminem.

When he falls down and cries you should just tell him to be tough because then he’ll learn not to fall.

If you keep hugging him so much he’s going to be gay.

If you bought him an Xbox then he could play it while you did stuff around the house. Also then when we come here I won’t be so freaking bored.

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