The 2006 Holiday Survival Guide For Slackers

My 2006 Holiday Survival Guide For Slackers appears in The Morning News today. A big thanks to everyone who sent in suggestions, especially:umrain zero for the Rocket Fishingrod Andre Torrez for The Beer Belly Debra Duncan for Mullet Shampoo knutmo for Polonium 210 My sister for Barbie With Pooping Dog Robert for Giant Novelty Checks Alan Taylor and Jon D.

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WTFFFF?

I've noticed that people have started writing "actual LOL" in emails and on message boards, to signify that they are not just using the term figuratively, but that something really caused them to laugh. Of course, it's only a matter of time before this phrase is also acronyminized and becomes ubiquitous, forcing people to take their calcifications to the whole

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Movies: Stranger Than Fiction

A friend of mine was fond of calling Coldplay "Radiohead for stupid people." I wouldn't go so far as to call Stranger Than Fiction "Charlie Kaufman for stupid people," but it would be fair to label the film "Adaptation for the strip-mall cineplex." (And like all Kaufman and Kaufman-esque movies, the film is best if you go in knowing nothing

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It Never Rains …

Good news: five days after a devastating Seattle windstorm, the lights are back on at my house, the kitties are warm, and all is again good in the world. Best of all, I can resume posting to defective yeti. And not a moment too soon, as I have some hilarious observations about parking meters to share with you. Hah hah

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Slacker Suggestions Sought

Yes, it's that most magical time of the year: time to send me links to the stupidest crap available for purchase on the Internet, for inclusion in my annual "Holiday Survival Guide for Slackers." Please post in the comments of this thread, or send to matthew@defectiveyeti. Previous Slacker's Guides: 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002.

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Benighted

Aerial shot of my neighborhood: Hey! I think I can not see my house from here! defective yeti will resume when I again have electricity, phone service, Internet connectivity, and my cats are no longer trying to burrow into my torso for warmth.

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Intestinal Fortitude

Bush has moved his decision on the Iraq war to January, saying that he needs to digest all the information he has received on the subject. Yes, this is the typical Bush M.O.: Ingest a bunch of reasonable suggestions from thoughtful and knowledgeable advisers, hunker down with Cheney and the rest of the inner circle for a week or two,

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Insufficiently Shy

The Queen, after reading yesterday's post:Q: You're playing raquetball? What is this, the eighties? M: Lots of people still play racquetball. It's one of the most popular activities at my gym. It's a great cardiovascular workout, exercises all major muscle, and is a lot of fun. Q: Sorry, wasn't listening. I had a Kajagoogoo song stuck in my head.

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Richochet

I was listening to the Adam Corolla show on my way to the gym this morning, and they were listing off the "Top Fantasies of Men" according to some meticulously unscientific poll or another. Number four, it turns out, is "to be totally dominated by a woman." And, half an hour later, some 87 pound young lady handed me my

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