I am omnipresent.
- I will be on KUOW’s The Beat this afternoon at 2:00, speaking to Megan Sukys about holiday board gaming.
- I was also interviewed as a board game expert for an article soon to appear in the Lancaster, PA “Sunday News.” I don’t know when it will run, but the title of the publication, along with my Jessica Fletcher-caliber deductive abilities, lead me to believe that it may be sometime over the weekend.
- A joke I made over four years ago was mentioned yesterday in The New York Times. “The Evite brand is so well recognized now that there are spoofs on the Internet, including an Evite invitation to war on Iraq in which the only confirmed attendees are the United States and Britain.”
- My buddy John Moe will be speaking about / reading from his book Conservatize Me, and he asked me be his opener. I don’t know what he was thinking when he made this offer (it’s probably safe to assume that peach Schnapps were involved), but I accepted all the same. So come join us at 7:30, Tuesday December 12, at the Elliot Bay Bookstore for an event Seattlest predicted would be “a vortex of funny.” High praise! I think! Unless they are alluding to the fact that vortexes are renowned for sucking.

Four years old or not, that Evite joke is gold (besides, most four year olds I know are hilarious)
Posted by Sam on December 8th, 2006.
That evite is how I originally found your blog.
Posted by Rob on December 8th, 2006.
haha, Australia probably should have been on the attendees list – not that anyone noticed
Posted by karan on December 8th, 2006.
Wow! Way to go!
Posted by Rob Cockerham on December 8th, 2006.
Waaaiit a sec: Were you PLAGIARIZED FROM?
That looks like plagiarism to me. Dude, you are so modest. But of course I haven’t slept in days and have had two glasses of wine so maybe you are credit.
BUT I DIDN’T SEE NO CREDIT. THEY DONE STOLE YOUR JOKE. I have already read one article about how this article was a rehash of an article in Village Voice a couple of years ago. And then they had the nerve to steal your joke? Do they not know the wrath that is google? Or as a wise man once said (to my students, who plagiarize constantly) “if you can google it then so can I.”
Every once in a while I come on here and praise you ardently even when I had nothing to drink but you could have written that article in your sleep and it would have been 10X as interesting and funny. (I still laugh about your “Morning News” article about the Peace Corps and the dead owl.) Hello? New York Times? Here is someone who wrote the original joke. Why are they not calling you?
Posted by ozma on December 8th, 2006.
OK, since I ate something I will no longer speak in a faux hillbilly dialect or falsely accuse NY Times reporters of plagiarism. They did say ‘internet jokes.’ But it still burns me that there is no mention of the author of said joke. As if the jokes just produce themselves.
Just for that I think we should refer to them as ‘reporters.’
Posted by ozma on December 8th, 2006.
When I read the reference to the Evite Iraq invitation I first wished I were half as funny and clever as whoever thought of that. I should’ve known who it was. I was also reminded of Andrew Marlatt
Posted by Lisa on December 8th, 2006.
Wait, “Schnapps” is a plural? How many schnapps are in one bottle, then?
Posted by MJ on December 8th, 2006.
Ok, every time I read your title, I can’t help but asking, “Yes, but are you Omniscient?” That’s what going to Seminary will do to you.
And… like MJ, I’m thinking Schnapps isn’t a plural.
Posted by Wende on December 9th, 2006.
The vortex also senses weakness. Use the Force. You’ll rock, I know it.
Posted by Shannon on December 10th, 2006.
And here I thought omnipresent meant “the perfect gift”. Huh….public ed. FTW!
Posted by Ryan on December 11th, 2006.
Damn! Wish I lived closer so I could check out John Moe and you and all sorts of funny.
I went to college with John (Rachael Brownell — Class of 90 — Whitman College).
Small world
Posted by CrankMama on December 12th, 2006.