Slacker Suggestions Sought

Yes, it’s that most magical time of the year: time to send me links to the stupidest crap available for purchase on the Internet, for inclusion in my annual “Holiday Survival Guide for Slackers.” Please post in the comments of this thread, or send to matthew@defectiveyeti.

Previous Slacker’s Guides: 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002.

23 thoughts on “Slacker Suggestions Sought


    Quite possibly the finest site for meat- and Jesus-related paraphenalia ever.

    What happened to the Moby Dick updates? I was on the edge of my seat, then suddenly…nothing. And don’t blame your slacktastic tendencies on the weather. I’m sure you could’ve found a flashlight SOMEWHERE and I KNOW you’re literate.

  2. Trinamick got me thinking about poop and reminded me of this:

    instead of giving cash or a gift card, give them something memorable – a giant check
    I like the small-print explaination text there: “Are these checks actually cashable? Will the bank really honor them? Yes. Unless you use non-real numbers in the account and routing fields (e.g. 123456), or unless your bank manager / president is just a stink-butt.”

  3. Ever have an unidentified song stuck in your head? Never again, with Humming Search…simply Hum a few bars of that song and poof….Humming Search identifies it for you.

    Does this mean the end to Humming Birds? (insert menacing music here)

  4. I can’t believe that people actually took the time to write reviews of bananas on the Amazon website. Now I guess I will have to get one for the Yeti for Christmas!

  5. I actually think these Monty Python Killer Bunny Slippers are kind of cool, but I felt like posting them on your slacker guide anyway. Then there’s Smittens, the mittens designed for the most irritatingly codependent couple on your gift list. You’ll be nauseated, they’ll be delighted. Bonus: ability to create new Yuletide Tradition, “Christmas Red Rover”. The anatomically correct Gummy Heart is a sure winner for your own sweetheart; not at all creepy. And lastly, you can now purchase the laziest meat by-product, Spam, via the laziest consumer method, online. Merry Whatever!

  6. The only thing stupid about the Whiz is that there aren’t distributing agents in the USA. I still want one in my stocking, though. I wonder if it would get through customs in one piece….

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