My 2006 Holiday Survival Guide For Slackers appears in The Morning News today. A big thanks to everyone who sent in suggestions, especially:
- umrain zero for the Rocket Fishingrod
- Andre Torrez for The Beer Belly
- Debra Duncan for Mullet Shampoo
- knutmo for Polonium 210
- My sister for Barbie With Pooping Dog
- Robert for Giant Novelty Checks
- Alan Taylor and Jon D. for the USB Humping Dog
- Matt Waters for both Season Shot & Breath Capture
- waterloo.bob for Neuticles
Zero thanks go to my “friend” Mark, who inflicted that godawful The “O Holy Night” mp3 upon me. A few days after I received it I stumbled across the same song on The Sneeze and, although I didn’t steal it from there, I would have, if it wasn’t already burned onto my PC’s hard drive and my psyche. So a hearty “zero thanks” to you too, Steve.
Update: Yes, I know the X-Wing Fighter never shot missiles. I originally wrote it as the Battlestar Galactica ship, but then changed it to X-Wing so I could make the “Great shot!” joke, figuring that no one would actually be nerdy enough to notice. THANKS FOR PROVING ME WRONG, ENTIRE INTERNET.