QuickChange

Thanks to debit cards, cash is pretty much obsolete. I can walk around for days without a dime in pocket or a care in the world, cheerfully deducting all my purchases from my checking account.

In fact, the only time I find myself in need of greenbacks is when I’m purchasing something so inexpensive that I cannot use my debit card, either because the store has a “minimum charge” policy, or because I’m trying to get Ho Hos out of a vending machine. In these cases there’s always the ATM, but it’s a drag to have to navigate seven menu screens to get cash, and then I typically wind up with $19.15 more than I wanted anyhow.

That’s why I think ATMs should have a QuickCash option. Here’s how it would work. Two prosthetic hands would be attached to the top of the machine. If you want $5, you hit one and shout “Gimmie five!”; hitting both and shouting “Gimmie ten!” submits your request for a sawbuck. Voice recognition software verifies your identity and the money is dispensed immediately.

I think this idea could really catch on. And, if successful, the machines could be retrofit to dispense girlie magazines as well. “Gimmie some skin!”

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