Trifecta

I like riding my bicycle to work. By the time I arrive at the office, my body is flooded with my three favorite substances: adrenaline, endorphins, and self-righteousness.

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Tricks of the Trade

For those of you wondering why Tricks of the Trade was AWOL for much of last year, here's the story in a nutshell. When the original Tricks of the Trade article ran in August of 2004, I was immediately contacted by an editor from a well-known publisher, wanting to know if I had enough tricks to fill a book. Not

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Seattle Follies

Last Friday I got email from my friend Phyllis Fletcher:To: Matthew From: Phyllis Subject: Help--need jokes!! I will represent KUOW at Town Hall's Seattle Follies, Thu April 26, 7:30PM. Send me some jokes! Phyllis     * * *     To: Phyllis From: Matthew Subject: Re: Help--need jokes!! How many Seattlites does it take to replace a light bulb?

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Riposted

The Queen: Do you want to watch America's Next Top Model with me. Me: Ah, no. I did that once in my lifetime, so I'm good, thanks. The Queen: Oh, come on. Me: Sorry, but I just don't understand the appeal of a bunch of stupid people prancing around like idiots and blurting out whatever damned-fool thing flitters through their

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U.S. Capitols Cities, Had All States Followed North Dakota’s Example and Named Them After Types of Donuts

Cruller, Alabama Jelly-Filled, Alaska Bavarian, Arizona Apple Fritter, Arkansas Brown Bobby, California Sugar, Colorado Nut Top, Connecticut Old Fashioned, Delaware Cheese Danish, Florida Hush Puppy, Georgia Malasada, Hawaii Eclair, Idaho Frosted, Illinois Timbits, Indiana Golden Puff, Iowa Koeksuster, Kansas Yum-Yum, Kentucky Beignet, Louisiana Buttermilk, Maine Krafne, Maryland Boston Cream, Massachusetts Lassie Loop, Michigan Cinnamon Twist, Minnesota Crumb, Mississippi Maple Bar,

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E-gregious

My Aunt V., creator of the word "Rovenge," has come up with another neologism:e-social: A subset of asocial, where someone is so distracted by electronic devices that he ignores the people around him. Inspired by watching a high-end SUV pass us one night with both flip down DVD players on for the back seat. I felt sorry for the kids,

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Purgegate Primer: Supplimental Reading

Alberto Gonzales testifies before Congress tomorrow. Oh my goodness, I'm giddy as a schoolgirl. That crescendo of rumbling you hear is a train wreck a-comin'. If you'd like to get up to speed before the spectacle, I would refer you to my The Purgegate Primer. The latest twist in the tale, revealed after I wrote my cheatsheet, is that the

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