U.S. Capitols Cities, Had All States Followed North Dakota’s Example and Named Them After Types of Donuts

Cruller, Alabama
Jelly-Filled, Alaska
Bavarian, Arizona
Apple Fritter, Arkansas
Brown Bobby, California
Sugar, Colorado
Nut Top, Connecticut
Old Fashioned, Delaware
Cheese Danish, Florida
Hush Puppy, Georgia
Malasada, Hawaii
Eclair, Idaho
Frosted, Illinois
Timbits, Indiana
Golden Puff, Iowa
Koeksuster, Kansas
Yum-Yum, Kentucky
Beignet, Louisiana
Buttermilk, Maine
Krafne, Maryland
Boston Cream, Massachusetts
Lassie Loop, Michigan
Cinnamon Twist, Minnesota
Crumb, Mississippi
Maple Bar, Missouri
Bear Claw, Montana
Beaver Tail, Nebraska
Cake, Nevada
Blueberry Crisp, New Hampshire
Berliner, New Jersey
Churro, New Mexico
Devils Food, New York
Zeppole, North Carolina
Raised, Ohio
Elephant Ear, Oklahoma
Pretzel-Shaped, Oregon
Fastnacht, Pennsylvania
Chocolate Log, Rhode Island
Custard, South Carolina
Powdered, South Dakota
Creme Horn, Tennessee
Texan-Style, Texas
Olicook, Utah
Rainbow Sprinkle, Vermont
Paczki, Virginia
Frying Saucers, Washington
Glazed, West Virginia
Pershing, Wisconsin
Hole, Wyoming

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30 comments.

  1. You said a mouthful. Interesting to know someone exists who would thoughtfully create such a list. Large Louie

  2. Clearly, I need to clearly patronize a better stocked doughnut store clearly.

  3. Dude, a hush puppy is not a donut. It is a type of deep fried cornbread.

    Yankees. Sheesh!

  4. Figures the doughnut police would be here reading your blog rather than keeping me from a doughnut disaster this morning. (Disaster meaning I ate one more than a healthy number of doughnuts.)

    Way to go, pjcamp.

  5. Paczki should be for Michigan, due to the huge Polish community in Detroit.

  6. what kind of fool would live a place named Pretzel-Shaped, Oregon??

  7. /Homer
    Mmmmm… State capitols….
    /Homer

    Ben
    Nut Top, Connecticut

  8. For a moment I thought I had accidentally stumbled upon a list at mcsweeneys.net.

  9. Bismarck is a donut?

  10. Bismarck is a capital?

  11. Dang it, what is the capital of North Dakota? I came to the comments section hoping to be enlightened!

  12. Who knew that Tim Horton had so much influence in the great state of Indiana. It’s enough to make a Canuck proud eh?

  13. Believe me, as a North Dakota native, there is nothing sugary or yummy about Bismarck.

  14. Remind me not to move to Rhode Island if I am ever transported into your doughnut capital alternat universive.

  15. Matt, have you been to Top Pot? Those are awesome donuts.

  16. No, silly, as Mel Brooks told us: Bismarck is a herring :)

  17. I feel as though glazed would have been a much better capital for vermont.

    not that, you know, I would know that or anything… I just heard it somewhere… yeah.

  18. There is a Sugar Land, TX. Land of Sugar Donuts, perhaps? Though I’d really love to live in Kolache, TX.

  19. Chocolate Log, Rhode Island is a shitty town, glad I left for Nut Top.

  20. Wow, good research–you definitely got the malasadas right. Mmmmmmm.

  21. Bismark is not a donut, it’s a type of herring. Can we please have a repeat that is gastronimically accurate?

  22. From dictionary.com:
    bismark

    noun
    a raised doughnut filled with jelly or jam [syn: Berlin doughnut]

  23. If you want to be picky and keep the ‘c’ in Bismarck:

    Bis

  24. North Carolina is the home of Krispy Kreme, and we get stuck with Zeppole?

    I’m outraged! Where’s Al Sharpotn when you need him?

  25. As a resident of the great state of Ohio, I too believe that our state should be razed.

  26. You’re the #1 google hit for Lassie Loop, and the only hit for “lassie loop”. ‘the hell’s a Lassie Loop?

  27. What on earth is a Brown Bobbie and how is it related to California? I live an hour from there and I’ve never heard of it.

    Now, we have had two governors with the last name of Brown, Edmond and his son Jerry, but that was a long time ago.

  28. Timbits, Indiana? We don’t even have a Tim Horton’s here.

  29. Is Baked, Alaska too far from pastry?

  30. Um, yup Old Fashioned, Delaware’s about right. Lightly fried, almost tasteless, and begging to be smothered. Guess that would make our biggest town something equally bland and boring, say, Vegetable Broth, De or Plain Oatmeal, De. Boy, Matt, you sure did open up a whole new can of creamed corn on this one.