Of course, the best thing about getting a scanner:

Atheist President


I Got A Scanner!

Further cementing my reputation as a “tardy-adopter,” today I bought a scanner, only a single decade after they became mandatory for any self-respecting geek.

First picture scanned:

Dad and I

My father and I, October, 1971.

Not only is Pa Baldwin an all-around great guy, but he’s also a regular reader of this site. Hi dad!

Update: “Don’t you have a similar picture of you and the Squiggle? I think a side-by-side comparison would be nice here.”


Extrapolations: every generation of Baldwin will have shorter hair, a higher BMI, and more ridiculous headgear.

Job Titles You Could Put in the “Occupation” Field of Your Tax Return to Exact Some Small Measure of Revenge on a Random IRS Employee by Getting an Irritating Song Stuck in His or Her Head

Paperback Writer
Cradle of Love Rocker
Country Boy (thank god!)
Business Caretaker
Smooth Operator
Smooth Criminal
Move Buster
Mr. Tally Man
Pack Leader
Careless Whisperer
Boy of Summer
Tiny Dancer
Tambourine Man
Yellow Submariner
Banjo Dueler
Right To Party Advocate
Lover (part-time)
Kung Fu Fighter
Guy who wrote the jingle for the “Kit-Kat” commericals
Dancing Queen
Port Commissioner of Funkytown
Sexual Healer
Eggman / Walrus

Encounter at the Intersection of Maudlin and Geek

Squiggle and I are strolling through a park, and I am singing Daisy Bell to him. As I near the end of the song, we approach a middle-aged woman, who is walking briskly in the opposite direction. She suddenly stops dead in her tracks and stares, dumbfounded, as I belt out the last few words.

Woman: Were … were you just singing “Bicycle Built For Two?”

Me: Yes.

Woman: Oh my God. My name is Daisy. My great-grandmother used to sing that song to me when I was a little girl, and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone else sing it in, like, forty years! How do you know the words? Did someone sing it to you when you were a child?

Me: Ahhhh, no. It’s the song HAL 9000 sings as he dies.


Jon of Ransom Note Typography conducted a rather lengthy interview with me. It is available here.

My friend The Other Matthew also talked to me for a class project. That interview can be found here. I did not actually verify that the perl code would compile before I sent it; if you discover that it does not, I don’t want to hear about it.

Passé Pix


Received: Mon, 2 Apr 2007 03:55:41 +0100
To: matthew@defectiveyeti.com
From: sexspfr@mst-nets.ch
Subject: Britney spears pussy pix!!

Man, I kind of feel sorry for this guy. It must be like trying to sell rotary phones.