Shouldn’t Have Quit The Day Job

Sing, sing a songSing out loudSing out strongSing of good things not badSing of happy not sad. Sing, sing a songMake it simple to lastYour whole life longDon't worry that it's notGood enough for anyoneElse to hear ...Wait, what? Hearing this song moments ago, I suddenly realized something: the lyrics are "don't worry that it's not good enough for anyone

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Book And Movie: The Prestige

Some people like books about cats that solve mysteries. Some people like books about rugged individuals wandering post-apocalyptic America. Me, I like books about magicians, escape artists, and mediums, set in eras when such professions were respectable. Thus my fondness for The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, Carter Beats the Devil, Girl in the Glass (and why I will presumably

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Kevin Meuller, Not So Much

This was a non-commercial commercial I heard on NPR yesterday:Last year, 6,000 teens were killed in drunk driving accidents. We at Allstate Insurance think that's 6,000 teens too many.Not bad at communicating the message "we care," I guess. But truly great ads are thought-provoking. If they had instead said "we think that's 5,992 teens too many," the listener would really

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Scare Tactics

I'm going to start 991, an emergency hotline for people who have the hiccups. "Oh my god!" I'll scream at the people who phone in. "A killer is calling from inside your house!!" I'm also going to start a support line for People Who Do Not Currently Have A Song Jammed Into Their Head. It will just play this, 24/7.

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Know-It-All

We're trying to get The Squiggle to say "I don't know" when he doesn't, well, know something. It's rough going, because it turns out that he's a bluffer par excellence. If he doesn't know what something is, he just makes something up. But there's no hint of deception. He really sells it.{I hold up a Hotwheels.} Me: What's this? Squiggle:

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Scent Of A Woman

Squiggle and are in the grocery store. We enter the aisle containing laundry detergent, and are immediately assaulted by the cloying scent of lavender. "Hoooo-wee" I say to Squiggle cheerfully. "Something stinks!" A woman nearby shoots me a dirty look and hastily stalks away. Only after she's gone do I realize we'd been smelling her perfume.

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Elsewhere Me

My short story "Customer Service" appears in issue 19 of Thuglit. Also in that issue is a story by Linda Sharps of All & Sundry, who says she was inspired to submit it by my Web Noir essay that mentioned Thuglit. Sweet. Speaking of The Morning News, last week they asked the contributing writers to recommend a bottled beverage. You

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