Tuesday Afternoon Scratchpad

Building A Bridge to the Late 20th Century

An excerpt from Hillary Clinton’s Super Tuesday speech, delivered a moment ago:

I hope all of you will join our campaign at double-you double-you double-you dot hillaryclinton dot com. Because you know that politics isn't a game. It's not about who's up or who's down. It's about your lives, your families, your futures.

Seriously, though: anyone who still includes the www when mentioning a URL is unfit for office.

Mitt-Flops

Romney, meanwhile, did best among “self-described conservatives.” This despite the fact that, until recently, Romney was pro-choice, in favor of stem cell research, a proponent of gay rights (“All citizens deserve equal rights, regardless of their sexual preferences.“), and busy instituting Universal (or, at least, Massachusettsal) Healthcare. This guy is so phony it’s as if someone Photoshopped him into reality. Apparently “self-described conservative” is pretty much synonymous with “least likely to do the research.”

Grimace

If McDonald’s “Happy Meals” are named after the emotional state children are in while consuming them, shouldn’t the adult versions be called “Self-Loathing Meals”?

Private to the Guy I Just Finished Playing Racquetball With

I may have lost to you 2-15, but at least I didn’t bellyache like an affluent toddler every time I missed a shot. So, between your admittedly superior athletic prowess, and my ability to stoically endure misfortune, I think we both proved our masculinity today. Except for you, ya fucking craybaby.

Waxy’s Links

I started my linkblog (did you know I had one? It’s over there ——>) about a year ago because, at the time, my favorite linkblog–that run by Andy Baio of Waxy.org–was only updated sporadically, leaving me to search out more time-killers on my own. Well, now Mr. Baio is blogging full time, and his linkblog typically features so many great links a day that I am spending less and less time on my own (not that I ever devoted more than 40 seconds a week on it …). So if you like the stuff that I post, you owe it to yourself to check out Waxy’s Links or subscribe to Andy’s XML feed.

EPIC

EPIC

 

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24 comments.

  1. Self-loathing meal! Hilarious!

  2. Epic Pail!

  3. There should be special Self-loathing toys to go with the Self-loathing meals. High School Dropout, Middle-Aged Alcoholic, Gawky Teenager, Closet Michael Bolton Fan – collect the whole set!

  4. We had a local municipal council election recently.
    I went to one of the talks. A lady asked a candidate for proof that he was a Chartered Accountant. Calling him a lier.

    He claimed he was not, and did not mean to give that impression.

    She then asked why his signs said “johndoe.ca”.

    And that is why you state the www. Of course, I don’t see what some would confuse “johndoe.com” for, but who knows, it’s a big country.

  5. Unfit for office though they may be, they can still sneer at people who just say “double-you double-you,” leaving out the third W, when giving an address orally.

  6. I actually prefer that people say the W’s at the beginning (just say them really fast to get it over with), so that I realize up front that a URL is coming, as opposed to only realizing it at the end.

  7. Aw, shucks. Thanks, Matthew.

  8. Sounds like Patton Oswalt’s term for KFC’s Famous Bowl: “A Failure Pile in a Sadness Bowl”

  9. This is a joke my dad would make if he were a geek…wait…he is.

  10. “self-described conservatives” don’t have many options.
    1)Total phoney that knows he’s a phoney but pretends otherwise.
    2)Total phoney that doesn’t even know he’s a phoney.
    3)Jared from Subway.

    “self-described conservatives” are maybe going for the guy that at least pretends to cater to them?

  11. I thought Mitt was looking a little overly rubber stamped.

    By the way, did you see that “Town Hall Meeting” on Monday night? Totally 1994.

  12. Those issues you list can easily, in this self-described conservative’s opinion, be seen as issues where conservative values diverge from religious values. The exception is the state-run single-payer healthcare.

    But Jeremy’s right, our options are limited. I’m writing in Fred Thompson.

  13. Self-described conservative = not doing research.

    1. Explains the Iraq War rather well.
    2. Faith-based ______ [initiatives/foreign policy/etc.]
    3. Fucking morons producing more fucking morons.
    4. Mike Huckabee’s explorations of “bathroom cottaging.”

  14. While the www’s get old, there are, indeed, some addresses that don’t work without them!
    So it can be important…

  15. I tried to start people saying, ‘Tri-dub’ for ‘www’ because having to listen to somebody repeat ‘double u’ three times turns it into a noise. (Something about the upcoming ‘u’ sound makes the ‘el’ in ‘double’ sound weird.) Hey, and ‘tri-dub’ has 1/3 the syllables… but it never really caught on… I guess because I have very few chances to mention URL’s to people.

  16. Douglas Adams once commented that “World Wide Web” is the one unique phrase whose acronym takes a longer time to say than the phrase itself.

  17. Hey nihilist, more great contributions from a liberal. You’re so smart, I wish I could be like you. “Fucking Morons” is a real stroke of genius. And bringing up the iraq war in a derogatory manner? Inspired!!! I’m so glad liberals aren’t prone to repitition.

  18. Hey nihilist, more great contributions from a liberal. You’re so smart, I wish I could be like you. “Fucking Morons” is a real stroke of genius. And bringing up the iraq war in a derogatory manner? Inspired!!! I’m so glad liberals aren’t prone to repetition.

  19. livwest, too bad conservatives have no sense of humor, too bad conservatives have no sense of humor, too bad conservatives have no senes of humor …

  20. Ok, how weird is it that all I can remember from that article is how hot that milk maid looked in a corset?

  21. To be pedantic, “www” isn’t an acronym, it’s just an abbreviation. Radar or NATO–there’s some acronyms for you.

  22. Well, I’m confused. Why is www not an acronym??

  23. DB,

    An acronym is pronounced, not spelled. E.g., “NATO” is pronounced “naytow”, not “en-a-tee-oh”. “www” can only be pronounced as “doubleyoudoubleyoudoubleyou” therefore it is not an acronym.

  24. (30 minutes on Dictionary.com and Wikipedia later…) Well, how about that! I’ve learnt something today. Thank you Leroy.

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