Daily Tweets

  • You have to get up pretty early in the morning to fool Matthew Baldwin. Seriously, it gets me every time. I’m all “Why are you up so early?” 16:30 PM
  • Have been smelling anise all morning. Someone remind me: does that indicate the presence of Satan or the onset of a stroke? 11:58 AM
  • Bliss and Tell: Only Googling a neologism or joke AFTER you’ve used it because you suspect 75,000 people came up with it first. 11:37 AM
  • Pint of No Return: The beer after which you will drink until drunk. For me it is number four. 10:21 AM
  • Scott McClellan’s new book, summarized: “I totally didn’t know I was lying those 630,000 times.” 09:16 AM
  • “Pornography” comes from the root words “porn,” which means “pornography,” and “ography,” which means nothing whatsoever. 09:01 AM
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11 comments.

  1. 140 x 7 does not make up for a complete lack of otherwise posting. But they were funny so we’ll forgive you.

  2. 140 x 7 does not make up for a complete lack of otherwise posting. But they were funny so we’ll forgive you.

  3. You may or may not be interested to know that my Bloglines reader shows the following post, allegedly on this blog:

    “Testing one two three
    In Tweets

    Could this possibly work?”

    And yet the post does not exist on your actual blog. You’re making my brain hurt just a little bit here.

  4. I wish I would’ve known you were on Twitter earlier! There’s always a shortage of quality Tweets these days.

  5. Re: the Pint of No Return, I’m usually already drunk by four pints, never mind ready to drink until drunk.

  6. my Pint of No Return is usually my first..is that bad?

  7. 16:30 PM, eh? Is that metric time?

  8. Awww Pickles! Twitter has been blocked by my national service provider. Apparently, its content is “inconsistent with the religious, cultural, political and moral values of this country”.
    What kind of immoral, hate-mongering cult is this “twitter” and why can’t I see tweets?

  9. I was going to leave a comment saying how much I enjoy your “tweets”, but there are already too many Mark’s commenting on this post.

  10. Is it inappropriate to shout, “Show us your tweets!”?

  11. I can’t believe someone else knows about Chickenfat!

    Also embarrassing: I have been enjoying your blog for several months, and *Chicken fat* is the first thing that prompted me to comment.

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