Those of you who have commented on my “humor” posts and urged me to “keep my day job” will be pleased to know that I have taken your advice.

And if you’ve ever wondered what that day job entails, you can find out here.

Recent Tweets

  • Neighborhood lemonade stand is charging $1 a cup. Those kids are gonna grow up to be an Exxon executives. June 14, 12:30 PM
  • While in a bar I mentioned I was writing a screenplay; cute girl overheard and totally checked me out. Memo to self: tell that lie more often. June 15, 12:53 PM
  • There ain’t no problem that alcohol can’t solve. Except alcoholism, I guess. Or a housefire. June 17, 09:00 AM
  • A single trip to the dentist dispels the notion that intelligence played any factor in our design. June 18, 11:47 AM
  • These new slacks my wife bought me make my ass look awesome! Also, the pockets are weird. I’m 65% certain they are women’s apparel. June 24, 11:07 AM