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- “In a move wildly perceived as a major gaffe for the presumptive Democratic nominee, Obama today named arugula as his 2008 running mate.”
- In the office restroom, peeing alongside three colleagues. Thought of something funny and loudly guffawed while staring at own penis.
- Who Will Be Obama’s VP is the Who Shot J.R. of 2008.
- It’s not exactly cosplay, but I have a serious Solomon Grundy hair thing going on today.
- Reviewing your Netflix queue uncovers repressed memories from drunken blackouts. “Buh? When did I put Glitter on here- ohhhhh. Right.”
- I appreciate that McCain starts every speech with “my friends” because then I know he’s not talking to me and can stop listening.
- My friend told me that her acupuncturist also does cupping. Man, I get slapped when I pull that shit on the bus and this guy is CHARGING for it?
- Hands of woman next to me on freeway fidgeting wildly on steering wheel. Wondered if she was on meth before I realized she was knitting.