Recent Tweets

  • “In a move wildly perceived as a major gaffe for the presumptive Democratic nominee, Obama today named arugula as his 2008 running mate.” Aug 21, 06:01 PM
  • In the office restroom, peeing alongside three colleagues. Thought of something funny and loudly guffawed while staring at own penis. Aug 22, 11:36 AM
  • Who Will Be Obama’s VP is the Who Shot J.R. of 2008. Aug 22, 01:33 PM
  • It’s not exactly cosplay, but I have a serious Solomon Grundy hair thing going on today. Aug 22, 02:50 PM
  • Reviewing your Netflix queue uncovers repressed memories from drunken blackouts. “Buh? When did I put Glitter on here- ohhhhh. Right.” Aug 25, 11:12 AM
  • I appreciate that McCain starts every speech with “my friends” because then I know he’s not talking to me and can stop listening. Aug 25, 11:18 AM
  • My friend told me that her acupuncturist also does cupping. Man, I get slapped when I pull that shit on the bus and this guy is CHARGING for it? Aug 25, 09:14 PM
  • Hands of woman next to me on freeway fidgeting wildly on steering wheel. Wondered if she was on meth before I realized she was knitting. Aug 26, 09:39 AM
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4 comments.

  1. Heh. Daniel from Zap2it had a tweet about the same time as your “Who shot J.R.” one that went: “Why didn’t Obama just make his V.P. selection process into a network reality show? Throw in a confessional & a rose ceremony and I’d watch.”

    Clearly, it’s in the Zeitgeist.

  2. If you live in the metro-Boston area, that last one was likely me. Sorry about that.

    (Note: totally kidding, I only knit at stop lights).

  3. Matthew Baldwin you are so smart, humble, and funny I wish I worked with you.

  4. You saw me knitting on the freeway?! Damn, I thought no one was paying attention.

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