Recent Tweets

  • Insurance guy: Why does your son need this? Me: He has autism. IG: I’ll authorize 6 mo. worth. Then, if he still has autism, call us back. Sep 8, 08:01 PM
  • All this commotion about Sarah being a Holy Warrior is causing quite the Palin-din. Sep 9, 10:31 AM
  • AP headline: “Stocks Plunge Downward”. What, do these guys get paid by the word? Sep 15, 03:45 PM
  • Discovered today: 30 years later, playing “Perfection” still gives me a headache. Sep 20, 04:26 PM
  • Oh Christ, I’m such an idiot. Spent the whole weekend looking for the greatest love of all; turned out it was inside of me the whole time. Sep 21, 11:46 AM
  • Attn. all: I am unable to poop waffles and pee maple syrup. That, at any rate, is what I told my hungry & impatient 4-year-old this morning. Sep 22, 11:14 AM

9 thoughts on “Recent Tweets

  1. You do realize, of course, that said 4-year-old will now introduce the concept of fathers pooping waffles and peeing maple syrup to random other adults, with great glee and probably at the most inopportune time. If I had made that comment to *my* 4-year-old, I would expect the subject to come up with teachers and play-group moms for years to come. Thank God she doesn’t know how to use a computer or cel phone yet.

  2. My kids are much more nefarious. They would wait until we had company over and then proceed to ask “Anyone want waffles?”

    Also: Nerdy puns FTW!

  3. omiGod! you had me at greatest love of all, and then the poop waffles and pee maple syrup made me laugh so hard I cried, suppose that’s only because I too have a sincerely impatient kid and only wish I could be so witty during those times

  4. So, I follow your Tweets fresh from the Twitter source, and my fave OS08P is that Joe Biden’s middle name is discovered to be “Homomuslim.” I was going to reply to your Tweet to let you know, but then I thought that would be weird, since I don’t actually KNOW know you. Or rather, you don’t know ME. Would that have been weird? I don’t know. I read Maggie’s Twitter Etiquette article, but I’m still fuzzy on the whole thing. Long story short, good work, my man; good work.

  5. I pooped a two-headed dinosaur once. Does nothing to get breakfast served, but I bet it’d be pretty fascinating to a four-year old.

Comments are closed.