Obama’s status as an elitist is confirmed when his library records are leaked to the press, confirming suspicions that he has read books.
On election day, Democratic operatives distract Republicans from voting with delicious Hostess fruit pies.
The McCain camp releases footage proving, beyond a doubt, that Obama played a “prominent role” in the 1995 film Happy Gilmore.
Obama produces string of garlic during third debate; McCain visibly recoils.
The actual Sarah Palin found on the grounds of Hogwarts, imprisoned in her own magic trunk.
Joe Biden’s middle name revealed to be “Homomuslim”.
On November 2nd the US Supreme Court preemptively rules Fred Thompson to be the winner.