October Surprise 2008 Predictions

  • Obama’s status as an elitist is confirmed when his library records are leaked to the press, confirming suspicions that he has read books.
  • On election day, Democratic operatives distract Republicans from voting with delicious Hostess fruit pies.
  • The McCain camp releases footage proving, beyond a doubt, that Obama played a “prominent role” in the 1995 film Happy Gilmore.
  • Obama produces string of garlic during third debate; McCain visibly recoils.
  • The actual Sarah Palin found on the grounds of Hogwarts, imprisoned in her own magic trunk.
  • Joe Biden’s middle name revealed to be “Homomuslim”.
  • On November 2nd the US Supreme Court preemptively rules Fred Thompson to be the winner.
  • * * *

    8 comments.

    1. I’d be much more inclined to support ANY politician for any office EVER if their middle name was, indeed, Homomuslim.

    2. I favorited your Sarah Palin-Hogwarts tweet.

    3. Hey! No fair making fun of my name. It’s a proud name with a long heritage, like Pinkogay and Catholic-rapist.

      You’ll be hearing from NAMBLA’s lawyers.

    4. Oh noes not delicious hostess fruit pies!Is there nothing those darn democrats can’t use for evil?

    5. I knew it! Every time I see McCain, I feel overwhelmed by the urge to wear a scarf.

    6. McCain as vampire: it seems so obvious, but yours is the first such joke I’ve heard.

      He returns to a box of his native soil at night. Has several of these boxes. Doesn’t really know how many. He’ll have his staff get back to you.

    7. McCain makes a halloween visit to the troops in Afghanistan. Just as he’s being filmed sipping coffee with some soldiers in the middle of nowhere,a tall bearded guy on a moped zips by and lobs a grenade. McCain picks it up and throws it back,detonating and knocking the rider off the moped,injured but not dead.All this being caught on film,McCain calmly walks over to the guy,realizes it’s Bin Laden and holds him down while the soldiers tie him up to be brought back alive. OCTOBER SURPRISE ’08

    8. Thanks for the last one. Mabye lazy campaigning will pay off in the end. Go Fred!