- My manager wants me to start sending “status reports.” Copying these things from Facebook to email is a drag–can’t he just friend me?
- Dinner tonight: Fun-Sized Twizzler, beer, Fun-Sized Twizzler, Fun-Sized Kit-Kat, slice of pumpkin bread, beer.
- Thanks to the miracle of Facebook I am now “friends” with a dozen people who wouldn’t give me the time of day in high school.
- How many times can you listen to M.I.A.’s “Bucky Done Gone” in a row before it’s time to admit you’re helpless in the face of addiction?
- No, because my pocket contains two thumb drives. That’s all I meant when I said I had 8 gigs in my pants.
- Technology can advance all it wants, but nothing will ever make me angrier than tailgating or happier than girls in sundresses.
- According to this Instant Win Scratch Ticket, a bottle of water is now a “prize”. What kind of crazy Frank Herbert world are we living in?
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