Beer -> Goggles

I had a bit too much to drink last night, and woke up this morning wearing socks. I never wear socks to bed. But socks tell me that my blood alcohol concentration last night wasn't too high ... no more that 0.05, probably. In fact, on any given morning I can usually determine what my BAC was the night prior

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The defective yeti Concert Calendar

Here are some upcoming dates and events that all citizens are required by law to know Layer Tennis: A new season of Layer Tennis kicked off a few weeks ago, if I can mix my sports metaphors, and history suggests that I can. Last year, you may recall, I provided color commentary for the Halloween match. I'll be donning the

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The Secret

Me: Hey, it's February 17th The Queen: And? Me: And it's our wedding anniversary. The Queen: Oops.You know, I'm just going to assume that the "Oops" was in reference to her forgetting the date and not to her original decision to get hitched. In fact, I strongly suspect that such assumptions are how we're remained together for eight years.

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Falling Asleep

We spent the weekend in Portland. On the drive down we saw no less than four abandoned mattresses by the side of the road. The Washington State Department of Transportation should gather these and put them all in a single location. Not only would this help to keep our highways clean, but then skydivers with faulty parachutes would have someplace

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Mindfuck Movies

At The Morning News today I quantify and enumerate my favorite brand of film: movies during which you have no freakin' idea what the hell is going on. Pretty much any list of this sort is going to provoke violent "this list is worthless without ______?!" reactions. (Ha! Halfway through writing that sentence someone IM'd me the link to this

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Recent Tweets

Giving a slide whistle to a four-year-old is like giving a oh my god I can't even concentrate long enough to analogize. Jan 7th, 10:23 AM Q: Why did they call the candy "LifeSavers" instead of "Life Savers"? A: They didn't want two mints words. Jan 8th, 10:16 AM Going to the gym a few hours after eating at Denny's

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