WASHINGTON D.C. - Cough! Cough cough! One sec. Cough! Cough cough! Ahem. Aherem. Okay.
The World Health Organization raised the H1N1 threat level from Phase 5 to Phase 11 this morning, indicating cough! Indicating that there are now documented cases of website-to-human transmission of the disease commonly known as "Swine Flu". The level was raised cough! cough! Cough cough! Jesus Chri-cough cough cough! Hang on. Cough! Cough! Ahrm.
The level was raised after 41 people contracted the virus from various domains, including 23 confirmed infections from Facebook. Epidemiologists ahrrrrm warn that "social networking" sites such as Twitter are common vectors for Phase 11 diseases due to the large numbers of people connected hrrrr, connected by hrrm, cough! Connected cough cough cough!
The WHO also recommended that citizens avoid websites that cough! Cough cough cough cough cough cough! That show signs cough! Cough cough cough! I'm so sorry about--cough! Cough cough cough! cough cough! Is it like hot in here or is it just me?