Tears and Gears

I just watched The Road while on the trainer. If the biathlon was "cycling and sobbing", I'd be in Canada right now wearing a bronze at least. While consoling me immediately afterward, The Queen said, “I am not laughing because you are crying. I am laughing because you smell terrible.”

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Toyota Recalls Remaining Models Due to Faulty Chick Magnets

Toyota suffered yet another setback today, as it was forced to recall all remaining models due to faulty chick magnets. "We've received numerous complaints about the complete lack of arousal induced by our dependable, fuel-efficient vehicles," said Shotaro Kamiya, spokesman for the beleaguered automotive company. "The panty-dropping capacity of our products falls far short of our standards, and for that

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The Point is Prob’ly Moot

I'm not sure who should be more embarrassed in this scenario: the auto mechanic for leaving the car stereo set to "Warm 106.9" when returning my Corolla, or me for listening to the station on the drive home and, upon hearing "Jessie's Girl" classified as a "Soft Favorite", exclaiming "that's fucking BULLSHIT!!"

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