Posts from July 2010.

The Pinnacle

Over on reddit, someone asked users to recount their “best one-liner moments“. This is easily mine:

I was in a high school humanities course, and the philosophy instructor was talking about the “essence” of things. For example, he said that a clock which stopped telling time could no longer be considered a clock, because the telling of time is the “essence” of clockness.

After giving a few more examples he plucked an empty paper cup from his desk, ripped out the bottom, and held it aloft. “What about this?” he asked the class. “Is this still a cup? I would say not.”

To which I replied, “I’m sorry, but I just don’t think your argument holds water.”

Pretty much the pinnacle of my career as a smartass.

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Affirmations For the ADD-Addled

1. You can make it to affirmation 2.

2. You can make it to affirmation 3.

3. You can make it to affirmation 4.

4. You can make it to affirmation 5.

5. You can make it to affirmation 6.

6. You can make it to affirmation 7.

7. You can make it to affirmation 8.

8. You can make it to affirmation 9.

9. You can make it to affirmation 10.

10. You could have read all these affirmations without skipping to the end, if you’d wanted to.

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